Sunday, October 14, 2007

How time trickles and flies...

So I've been in Chicago for a year now. Which seems crazy. I totally remember this time last year when it was hailing and I was thinking I had made a terrible mistake.

I haven't quite decided if that's still true. It hasn't been terrible. The weather has made me want to pull my hair out but I've made some amazing friends and so crazily rekindled some old friendships (seriously, if you had told me a year ago that I was going to reconnect with someone I went to camp with, I would have called you crazy to your face). I've experienced some awesome things: Circus class, break dancing, lollapalooza... I've finally decided what is important to me in life and what makes me happy.

I've been doing improv for 10 months now, and even though sometimes I feel burnt out by the fact that I've done it every week for almost a year, I still get excited by getting up there and doing scenes. I had a really great audition yesterday, and even though I probably didn't get it, the audition made me happy.

I am stuck in a rut when it comes to my job. I have good days and bad days. I know its not what I want to be doing, but I get paid enough to keep me happy and by happy I mean, I make enough money to buy stuff. a Devin Hester jersey.

The football thing is crazy. This has been a trying beginning of the season I still love the Bears but they're making me pretty sad right now.

Right now I'm sitting in my Godmother's house which is gloriously circular; sitting on the same couch, eating the same pizza. This time, I'm so hungover I want to die because I went out dancing until 4 in the morning with some of my newest favorite people. In 2 hours I have to play soccer, which is going to be rough.

I just re-read this entry and realized I might still be drunk. Anyway, happy 1 year anniversary to me. Go bears.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Allow me to clarify...

So, I don't really have time to write a blog, and its too hot to have a laptop on my lap anymore, but I want to declare something:

Accutane doesn't make you a murderer.

So, let me catch you up, there was a Chicago dermatologist who was brutally killed a few years ago. They recently found the killer who was apparently a disgruntled accutate patient and wanted to get revenge for having a little mind warp on the drug.

As someone who did a full-term accutane cycle I can say for sure that yeah, it makes you kind of crazy. It makes your skin reptilian in nature and kind of makes you a little nutty.

However, the father of the murderer is saying that his son (who KILLED someone in cold blood) is a VICTIM in this case and has shipped him off to the West Indies so he won't be arrested.

I call shennanigans.

Yes, accutane is a scary drug to take, I waited almost two years until I was in a good, healthy place in my life before I even considered it. And then I was told over and over and over the potential side effects. I filled out forms and carried a sweet VIP accutane card (which still lives in my wallet if you ever want to see it). I knew the first time I took the pill that it was going to be a bumpy road.

And it was.

The first 48 hours I was on it I felt like I was on a mild hallucinigen. I wrote my mom an e-mail from work that caused her to call me and say, "Go home. Right now. There is something wrong with you."

I read the e-mail later and totally agreed, it's barely in English.

The rest of the 6 months I was on the drug I was constantly on guard. When I broke down into crazy crying jags I made sure that I knew a roommate was home. I kept my spirits up as much as I could. Kept in constant contact with the outside world, never let myself get too much in my head.

Because I knew I had done this to myself. If something happened to me, it was my fault.

Which is EXACTLY the case with this guy. His father was a doctor for chrissakes. I mean, everyone who has ever condsidered taking the drug knows what it can do. For me, it made me addicted to chapstick. ADDICTED. Like, I went through a burts bees stick every week and a half.

I am not comparing this to murder, I am just saying...the consequences of taking this drug are soley on the shoulders of the patient and his family. He was on it for two days. Had he made it past the looney-tunes 48-hour mark with a supportive group of people, I feel that the outcome would have been different.

And to the father who is making himself look like a jerk on TV (and right after the amazing bears-packers game to boot), I say, to shame, sir.

There is one victim and that is the gentle old doctor (my roommate was a patient of his and says that she has never met a better, more kind and thoughtful doctor). You hiding your son away so he doesn't have to face judgement for the crime he did, is ridiculous.

....I'm sorry this is my first (deeepressing) blog entry in over a month, just watching the news made me angry. Its like the story of pit bulls. Not all pit bulls are evil...they're trained by humans to react the way they do. Accutane does make you a little crazy, but you are duly warned before the pills ever touch your lips. Don't make this about a good medication with some sobering side effects. Make it about the family that didn't care enough to make sure their son was okay...

She's pint-sized and amazing.