People...the apocolypse is upon us.
My dear Mother, Comfort Cougar [redacted] has finally joined the 21st century and purchased a cellphone.
She was the last holdout...in the entire universe. My crazypants Granny had a cellphone before Cougar did. And now C is the proud owner of a pay-as-you go tres cute flippy phone. Although she refuses to give out the number, because she's kind of a tool like that.
Also. Bagels come in squares now.
The world is really about to explode.