Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A crazy id-rant re: traveling.

I have to get on vacation...I guess, technically, because I am not at work today, I am on vacation, but there is nothing relaxing or enjoyable about being in an airport. Nothing.

I take that back -- flight delays are a wonderful excuse to start drinking at 10:30 in the morning. My Granny said I should, and really in this matter, I feel she is correct. If you arrive at the airport only to find you'll be sitting there for the next 4 hours, a drink is really just the beginning. Then you need chocolate cake for breakfast, and overpriced airport internet.

Seriously, on airline delays catering to the six-year old inside me is something that is non-negotiable. I eat everything I want, buy whatever I want and have no qualms about being a uber-bitch when things don't go my way.

Obviously, I know that whatever is happening out there on the tarmack or in the air or whatever isn't the woman-standing-at-the-gate's fault-- but she's the one in front of me, and while that totally sucks for her, I have to assume that she is fairly compensated for dealing with nutters like myself.

People-- do not fly jetblue. I'm not kidding. Jetblue is pretty much the airline you turn to when you want everything possible to go wrong. Delayed flights? sure. Luggage that may not be where you are? you betcha. Non-negotiability when it comes to getting on your connecting flight? Hellz yes.

I know that there are somethings that they can't control-- like, thunderstorms and flooding and whatever and I'm fine with that. While I think that maybe airlines shouldn't be such pussies on occasion-- whatever, if there's a tornado, it's probably for the best that we're all still on the ground.


If I am asking you to hold my connecting flight for FOUR minutes so I can RUN to the connecting gate so I don't have to SLEEP in the AIRPORT, then I feel that is a request you should honor. Seriously, I don't feel that its out of line for me to be like, "Please call the ticket counter at JFK tell them that I once clocked in at 12 seconds for the 50 yard dash and so will be there a minute after the flight is supposed to take off, if everyone can hold their horses for less time than it takes to stow your luggage and buckle a seatbelt, then everything will be fine."

"I'm sorry ma'am, jetblue doesn't have a policy for that."

eat it jetblue.

*it now looks like my connecting flight is delayed as well, so I should have enough minutes to make it-- but I'm not holding my breath about it.

Seriously, why is it soooo complicated getting to the east coast. I can not remember an instance in the past 8 months where I didn't have a problem getting to the right side of the country. Why is that? What is the beef between the midwest and the east coast that makes it flippin' impossible to get between the two without some major meltdown.

Okay--- I need some sort of food before I go on a rampage.

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She's pint-sized and amazing.