Girls Weekend In Denver

So you want to go to Denver? Excellent Choice.

My two friends and I had been on the hunt for a girls weekend excursion and while we were craving a beach getaway, the threat of Zika had me gently nudging them to places to the el norte. When we discovered that you can take a yoga class at the hipster mecca of Red Rocks Amphitheater for the low price of $12, we knew we had found our destination.

It was endlessly delightful to respond to the standard query of "what brought you to Denver?" with, "oh we came for a yoga class." Like, one class. Flying half way across the country for one hour of exercise. But it was totally worth it. I frickin' love Denver. I can't wait to go back.

What we did:

Yoga at Red Rocks - they have eight classes a summer and there is a very, very real chance I'll go again because it was an out of (white girl) body experience. An awesome flow, perfect weather, incredible music, free granola bars. If Heaven has yoga classes, they're all at Red Rocks.

(more) Yoga in the Civic Center Conservancy - if I was going to haul my yoga mat on an airplane, I wanted to make it worth my while. So I scoped out free yoga classes. Most cities have them (this is now my second free-yoga-while-traveling class, and I'm making it a habit) and it is a fun way to do something that isn't eating, walking, or napping.

The Flatirons (1 and 2) - we wanted a hike that was only going to take a morning but not make us feel like we hadn't accomplished anything. Flatirons was perfect. We ended up with a 30 minute detour (the trail marking is not great) and still made it up to the end of the trail within a few hours. There was some rock scrambling and it required a little Beyonce motivation, but we did it and it was totally worth it for the views, the sense of accomplishment, and the cheeseburgers we got at the end.

The Trading Post Trail at Red Rocks - after the yoga class we were not feeling particularly go-getter-y. This trail was perfect for some instagramable rocks and a leisurely "let's talk about our feelings" pace.

The first .3 miles of the Dino Ridge Trail - I demanded this because I love me some dinos. We parked right at the end of the road and took the 10 minute walk up, learned things, had a moment of awe over these being Actual Dinosaur Foot Prints, and walked back down. Skipped the crowd and the tours.

Improv at Voodoo Comedy - Improv and Podcast Superstar Mel Evans has relocated to the Denver area (much to the devastation of Chicago) and we saw her crush it so hard in some improv musical comedy.

What we ate and drank:

Lunch at Mountain Sun - If you're going to climb a flat iron, you deserve a cheese burger slathered in blue cheese. These were perfect. With delicious beers to boot.

Dinner at Work and Class/Working Class/Work and Release - (we could not ever actually remember the name of this restaurant) was exactly what these snobby-ass Chicago foodies wanted. Good cocktails, killer small plates, and no wait for a table. Everything was delicious but the mac and cheese, corn, and house salad were particularly scrumptious.

Ice Cream at Sweet Action - TWICE. No regrets.

Potions at Shine Restaurant - on the recommendation of a colleague we had some post-hiking potions. Good for an introspective giggle (do you need a restarter or a firestarter?) bad for being not particularly delicious. Though I'm sure they were good for our souls in a tetanus shot kind of way. 

Brunch at Rioja - This was the best possible last meal of the trip, but it also could have been the last meal of my life and I would have been okay. We picked it because of my companion's aversion to eggs (making brunch a challenge) - almost everything on their menu did not require a pair of sunny-side-ups to complete it which was perfect. The service was kind of garbage but you can redeem all manner of sins with free goat cheese biscuits and honey butter.

Where we stayed:

An absurd little Airbnb that stank to high heaven of the whacky tabacky (Welcome to Denver, I suppose). It was perfectly located next to a Whole Foods that provided the many, many kombucha varieties we needed for four days.

How we got around:

Frontier got us there. If you're 5'2", can pack light, and always have your own snacks, Frontier is not as bad as everyone says and was $150 cheaper than even Southwest. A tiny little Chevy Spark rental got us around. It was like a Harry Potter car, it fit into every parallel parking space we found and used like 6 ounces of gas the whole trip.

Other shout outs:

Golden Farmer's Market (and Izzybelle Chocolate Sauce), Union Station's new make-over, and Dirt Coffee.

Are we at 10 truisms yet?

I think we wait until the last possible second to pack, not because we want to, but because it has been so long - we don't know of any other way to do it.

TBIF: Iceland is my friend

Last night I had the delightful opportunity to talk to my most favorite Teeny on the eve of her trip to Iceland. I made so many demands of her Iceland time (rye ice cream was at the top of the list) but mostly I just wanted her to love it for me because I'm so far away and busy.

Anyway, I spent most of the day wishing that I could just drop everything and get on the next flight to hang out with her, but since I couldn't (being a grown-up is the worst), I revisited some of my favorite Iceland internet finds.

The Iceland on Tumblr (Iceland wants to be your friend) blog is one of the best things on the internet. It is happiness in Tumblr form.

This Inspired by Iceland music video might be the best tourism video I have ever seen. Also, the Holocene video from Bon Iver makes my heart hurt in the best way.

Of course, feel free to read my entire Iceland saga.

Think about how much fun Teeny is having and wish you were having it too. Then book your trip to Iceland.

TYOE: Las Vegas

I may look 29, but my mental age is far closer to late 80's. I like sleeping and breakfast and things that are quiet. I used to be all in for late night parties and making questionable choices but now when I do that I wake up the next morning wishing for a black hole to crawl into to sleep forever.

Las Vegas was a place I figured I had aged out of at this point.  With the exception of perhaps an outlying bachelorette outing, I thought I might never make it.  But it turns out, I was going to spend the anniversary of my birth in the city of... something (lights? bad choices? whatever).

Here is how to do Vegas if you are old and grouchy like me:

Stay at the Elara. It has no casino inside, which is nice because no one who isn't staying there is wandering around drunk and it never smells like cigarette smoke. It is technically "off the strip," but it is a very short walk (less than a block, inside or outside) to put you smack dab in front of the Bellagio.  The rooms are great, the pool is great, and it does not have a resort fee.  Stay there.

Go see "O." People are not joking when they say this is THE show to see in Vegas. It was perfect. It was two hours of pure magic and delight.  I found myself just wanting to watch it again and again. It is absolutely worth every penny you spend to see it. 

Eat one all-you-can-eat brunch. My vote? Le Village buffet at Paris. Brunch is the preferred buffet meal because you get the best of all worlds. Eggs. Cocktail shrimp. 47 million macaroons. Eat at 11:00 a.m. and then you will never have to eat again. 

Cocktails at Parasol Down at the Wynn. We only found it because we spent most of our time in Vegas just exploring, but it was my favorite. An outdoor bar overlooking a gorgeous waterfall where you forget you are even in Vegas. 

A birthday treat from Jean Philippe Patisserie. You only turn 29 once. 

Here are some other ways to pass your time (if you hate gambling):

Slots and video black jack. This might sound like gambling but if you do it right, you can make your money last the longest and get the most free drinks (coming out kind of ahead at the end of it all).  Also, it takes so long to lose your money (if you make the lowest bids possible) that you forget how time works and find yourself stumbling back to your hotel room way past 3:00 a.m. patting yourself on the back for being a real gambler without the devastating heartbreak of losing your entire life savings. 

Another show.  We saw Penn and Teller which feels like the obvious choice.  They are super political these days though. I do not know if they have always been the Libertarian magic show, but yikes stripes personal freedoms, we get it already.  My vote would probably be for Absinthe if we ever go again.

Play arcade games at Excalibur. When you're sick of losing money for no reason, switch it up and lose money because you are playing arcade games.  Boyfriend crushed a game of Indiana Jones pinball so hard. It was the best fifty cents he spent on the entire trip.

Sit by the gd. pool. It is 80 degrees. Do it. Stop rushing around and just enjoy your vacation. 

We also ate at Lotus of Siam, The Peppermill and Fleur - all of which were also super delicious and worth it. 

If we can get to Vegas and stay there for under $300 a person, I would totally go back. I love anywhere I can sit by a pool in late October but honestly, it is kind of overwhelming and sad. You are having a good time and then you realize this is basically a giant resources suck in the dessert that steals peoples' money with their permission. The free drinks are nice, and the nice architecture is nice, and as a place to just walk around and enjoy it is fine - as long as you can forget that basically this is a place where sanity and good choices come to die.

Good morning

This is the view I woke up to this morning from my treehouse. The city girl in me will never die, but I could get used to this. 

Deep down in my gut I have that sinking Monday morning feeling but right now I could not care less.  

Quick note on routine

I haven't been on a train in a week, which is one of the reasons for the sudden absence. When you make a routine, all parts of the routine are required. For me, writing blog posts, in the morning, on the train required all of that.

Instead, I've flown into Virginia, criss-crossed the entire state of Maryland, regained my rightful title as Best Cousin in West Virginia, and had several boozy, slightly illegal adventures in DC. 

But today feeling the overwhelming need to commute (and wanting to get into DC without sitting in traffic) I took the train and had my first routine blog. 

It looks a little different here: 

It makes for a nice change. 

Real blogs start again on Tuesday. 

Fall Madness

It has already started.  A fall unlike any other. One that will leave me so grateful for any free moment I find myself in front of a television on the weekends.

It started with celebrating Wedding #1
now its onto trying to keep the luck of the Irish
then the biggest, scariest, work thing I've ever done
followed by getting our wedding guest on back-to-back Maryland style
with a week-long M'town trip snuck in on the tail end
chased by a trip down to Charlotte to see the incomprable Chellis.
then its Birthday Trip 1 LasVegasHooverDamGrandCanyon
with Birthday Trip 2 SeattleTeenytimeTreeHouse right behind it.
a weekend in Madison with one of my favorite baby Badgers and her delightful parents
time to try on a taste of famous with our third trip to Cali this year, L.A. style
(shhhhh, I have one weekend with no plans, donotjinxthis)
a turkey-time adventure in Orlando
my second big, scary work thing (significantly less big and scary)

Then there are two weeks until Christmas Vacation.

On.your.mark.get.set.go

TYOE: A Saturday in Milwaukee

2013 will be The Year of Exploration or TYOE.

For Christmas, Boyfriend gifted me the gift of adventure within the continental United States (just like on Double Dare!). Due to the absurd amount of flying for work he did last year, he earned enough miles to get me a Companion Pass on Southwest Airlines. And while many airlines would make you give up all your hard-earned miles for such a fancy piece of plastic, they let him keep the miles and the girlfriend-in-tow. So this year will be all about exploring as many of the places Southwest flies as we possibly can. The Year of Exploration (*trumpet noise*)

Well, our first adventure did not even require a plane ticket, just some gloves and a full tank of gas.

Boyfriend has been talking about this Spy Restaurant in Milwaukee forevvvvver, and we got the braintrust-y idea that we should go explore it in the middle of February when Milwaukee was a balmy 16 degrees ABOVE freezing.

I've discovered that when Boyfriend and I travel, we focus most of our energy on eating and drinking and walking around. We'll wander into a museum every now and then but we love food, we love booze and we love walking around burning off all those delicious, delicious calories. Are there awesome museums in Milwaukee (and the other cities we will visit)? Absolutely. Will we visit them? Meh. Maybe. We'll see.

The day started at Trocadero for brunch. We picked it for its proximity to the Lakefront Brewery - and in that regard, its awesome. We were told we had to have a Milwaukee Bloody Mary. I don't know how The Frenchie compares to other Bloodys (since I don't drink them on the regulars, being a mimosa girl myself), but it was spicy and delightful. The beer chaser felt unnecessary but I mean, when in Wisconsin... The food was fine, but I feel like its pretty hard to foul up brunch. The service wasn't great, but since we were only walking across the river to get to our next destination, we weren't in too much of a rush.


Then! After brunch, we discovered that the Holton Street bridge has both a convenient pedestrian walkway AND a sweet teeny-tiny little playground. Full of brunch and a little tipsy, in 16 degree weather, is not quite picture-perfect swinging weather, but we gave it a shot.


We mulled over which brewery to go to (Lakefront vs. Milwaukee Brewing Company) and ended up at Lakefront because that is where Facebook told us to go. It was a great experience, but now we want to try out Milwaukee for comparison's sake.

By 11 AM we had both had about 1.5 beers and were feeling AWESOME. Day drinking is the BEST, winter, summer, don't care. I like my beer while the sun is shining. The tour was fine, the beer was good (although we were disappointed in the lack of variety in the brew pub) and we walked out with two complimentary pint glasses (just what every household needs more of - pint glasses).

Three beers in and feeling buzzed to the max, we meandered down the riverfront path. I bet in the summer it is super gorgeous and full of fun things, but I have to say, with a snowy river and literally NO ONE around, it was kind of perfect.

We made it to the spy restaurant (with a quick stop at the statue of the Fonz which is sort of meaningless to me as I have not ever seen a single second of "Happy Days." But I love a good photo op).                 

The spy restaurant at 4 PM lacked a little of the required ambiance. It needs some darkness and to be less full of screaming children. But we had some fried cheese curds and ice cream (Lunch of (drunk) Champions) and a fancy martini and explored all the fun spy bits. If you really want a Super Spy Experience, get your ass to the Spy Museum in Washington DC and do the Spy training thing. I know its expensive but it is WORTH it for the James Bond power trip. 

We made it down to the Public Market which eeeeeveryone said we had to visit. Not knowing what it was, I was up for it. Until I realized it was just a giant, uber-trendy Whole Foods. 

Had we not just stuffed ourselves with sweet, sweet cheese we may have been amped for artisanal pickles and fresh halibut but it was just noisy and smelled funny so we left to find some non-food third ward adventures.

We found an amazing antique shop (in the same building as Paintball Dave's) and spend an hour or so convincing ourselves that we did not need a whole bunch of garbage (despite how bad we might have wanted it).

By that point, buzz worn off and cold starting to seep in, we made the choice to be done with Milwaukee. Was there more to see? Sure. But going to a museum at 5 PM is dumb and we live close enough to find comfort in the fact that it will always be there, hanging out, waiting for another day of drunken stumbles.

Celebrate your local adventure! Visit a small city within driving distance today!

Two Mangos in a Pepper.

Sometimes. I think Boyfriend and I are made for each other...

This weekend while I was in Vermont, I discovered this amazing Mango Habanero business (the one with the twee little checkered cloth) and brought it home as part of Boyfriend's prize, only to find out that while I was gone, he went to the grocery store and bought pretty much the exact same thing.  Although, I am sure that his will not be nearly as good mixed with cream cheese and slathered on a cracker eaten while wandering around gorges and thinking about maple candy.

You live with someone for four years and you think that finally you have it all figured it out. And that you've found the person you're supposed to spend at least four more years with. And then this shows up in the mail.

Seriously, Boyfriend. Knight and Day? Someone is losing Netflix queue-ing privileges for a while.

March Awesomeness

March tends to be kind of a throwaway month as we all sit on the edges of our seats waiting for Chicago Summer but for some reason, this March is going to be amazing.  More details to come once all these totally amazing things have happened.

Tonight - This (to eat)

Next Thursday (through Monday) - This (to experience)

Then bright and early the next Saturday - This (to get ridiculous)

Then the next Friday, at 10 PM - This (to watch)

*edited to add* how could I forget?! - This (to watch as well)

And then to round out the month, on the 30th - This (to listen to)

This month is also going to have a lot of challenges and some tears as I try to work through a lot of stuff. But knowing that there is something awesome happening every. single. week should give me the motivation I need to get through all the crappy stuff.

Happy March!

World, we have a problem

The travel bugs bite hard, guys.

I want to go everywhere.

Not a day goes by when I don't look at pictures from one of my journeys.  And lets be real, I get it, I am one of the luckiest sonsabitches out there.  I have had some really amazing opportunities and I totally value them.

However, traveling is like tattoos, is like carbohydrates - you have a little bit and you just want more.

I spend my days trying to figure out how to get away from real life.  Planning  adventures, and plotting escapes.  A few days ago a friend posted a link for a $600 trip to Ireland.

Here's how the inner monologue goes:

"Oooh, Ireland.  I'm going.  Done.  Let's pick a week."
"Um, inner monologue? We're still paying off our last awesome trip."
"But adventure! At a low cost!"
"You do realize that you have to work sometimes, right? you can't just be on salary and also on vacation all the time."
"Yes but..."
"And for that matter, you know how it takes you 4 weeks to make up 2 weeks of not being at work."
"Yes, but..."
"And aren't you planning a trip to Rio, Cuba, Angola and South Africa?"
"Yes..."
"And possibly to Costa Rica?"
"yes."
"Its time that you realized that you cannot go all the places."
"...okay."

And so I don't go to all the places, but if we're thinking about things that we want, (which according to some, we should spend more time doing, if only to give life a little more focus), I want to travel.  I want to see the whole world and I want to write about it.  And take pictures of all the sunsets, even though they sometimes look the same.  I want to meet people and stumble through languages.  I want to be awed and humbled.  I want the challenge of new money and different public transit.  I want to find the courage to ask questions and go without a map. 

And though practicality will, for the time being, win out 90% of the time - I like knowing this about myself.  Even if it took me 26 years to put it into words.  I know that I want to see the whole world for myself.  And then tell everyone else how it goes. 

Sorry, world.  You're stuck with me as long as I can afford it. 

The end of the adventure - Days 11 & 12

We woke up in our super adorable little cabin and got ready for our last real day in Iceland. The first stop was Gullfoss.  Gullfoss was a very awesome last waterfall (save the best for last and all that).  Once again, we got right up in the waterfall's face and took lots of pictures.  But let me tell you, I was surprised at how totally meh I was about waterfalls by the last day.

There were hundreds of waterfalls along our journey and they were all stunning and gorgeous and unique.  But after 10 days I was just exhausted of gorgeous natural wonders.

After the waterfall, I finally got a picture of my favorite street sign.

For awhile we would see this sign and just scream "NO TOWN," and, in our fatigued and overstimulated brains, it was hilarious.  Every time.

On the way back from Gullfoss we stopped for an incredibly necessary car wash.

in her clean, pre-flat tire state on the first day of the trip

Our little Kia (nicknamed Mrs. Marion Coatsworth-Haye of Marble Head - bonus points if you know the reference) went the distance for us.  Literally.  I had no idea what we were going to put that car through and she took it like a champ.  After the flat tire incident it was smooth sailing.  Except for the fact that she was filthy.  So we gave her a nice car bath and then had our very last Icelandic hotdog (sob.)

After hot dogs we went to the Bonus to buy tons of candy to take home.  Coconut Chocolate Chip Maryland Cookies (which you can apparently get in other parts of Europe, though I've never seen them), Nizza Chocolate Bars, and Hraun Lava Bars are all awesome and worth the price.  Be careful of the bulk candy though - apparently everything is either a gummy or a licorice covered in chocolate.   It is very disappointing after you have bought $5 worth to realize the Icelandic error in judgement.  Also, while you're at the Bonus - get some rye bread and pancakes to take home.  Even the plastic wrapped, store-bought pancakes are going to be an excellent life choice as take-aways from your adventure.

Souvenir shopping out of the way (for the time being) it was time to get on the road to the Blue Lagoon.  While we were super excited for this adventure, I think it cemented in all of our minds that the Iceland trip was coming to a close.  And it was pretty sad.  We had worked so hard and done so much that to have it all be over so fast, seemed kind of surreal.

Once we got to the Blue Lagoon, things got even more surreal.  We were pretty over all the naked pre-showering that is required, but we were not over how many people were going to be there.  It was freezing that day, and kind of rainy but then you get in the water and its the nicest bathtub ever, and it's full of a bazillion (mostly European, thankfully clothed) people all just kind of floating around in little huddles.

We didn't take cameras because we were not sure where to put them, turns out people just leave their cameras all over the place and no one steals them, because its Iceland.  But we didn't trust it.  So no Blue Lagoon pictures.  But it was lovely.  The best part was the 30-minute massage from the big lady with the strong hands.  Let me tell you, I am going to pick the burly lady over the hot guy to do my massage every time because you know she means business.  A massage is the perfect way to end any adventure, but particularly one where you have been sleeping on crappy hotel beds, asking your body to do crazy stuff it rarely does (hike, ride a horse, sit on a boat) and sitting in a car for upwards of 4 or 5 hours a day. 

After face masks, massages, the most amazing waterfall of them all (we got to stand under it! I punched a kid because he wanted a piece of my waterfall space and I wasn't ready to give it up) and tiny bottles of champagne at the swim up bar - toasting to our continued world domination - we left the Blue Lagoon behind.

Then we got to our final hotel.  And let's talk about saving the best for last.  Each hotel had its own quirks and charms and I liked all of them, but our final hotel was by far the classiest and for not that much more money (if my brain remembers correctly).  We had the incredible honor of being one of the hotel's first guests ever!  We christened this fabulous room with a loft space and one of the most amazing bathrooms by breaking a glass in the bathroom.  Hotel Berg, y'all.  Its the ish.

Also, to make it more awesome, the woman who owns it also is the owner of one of the most famous dogs in Iceland (and the website Bulldog.is). Of course she is.

For this, our final night in Iceland, we decided that it was time to finally eat real food again.  So went to Kaffi Duus, per the hotel/famous dog owner's recommendation.  An Excellent Choice.

We ate as though we had never eaten before.  We started with a seafood sampler which was amazing because Iceland knows whats up when it comes to things that live in the sea, but also because there was this sauce.  This "jus," if you will, that was made with garlic and perfection.  We ate every morsel.  When we ran out of bread we used spoons.  No classiness here.  Not when olive-oil-based happiness is on the line.

Then we got our entrees which were all amazing.  Of course, I loved mine the most.  Bacon. Wrapped. Monkfish in some sort of sauce-mess that reminded me of hollandaise sauce that some lobsters had had a dance party in along with some obligatory vegetables.

I ate the whole thing.  The whole thing.  I know, because McKim "you won't," me into it.  Did I feel less like a champion than I had anticipated after that last bite went it?  Sure.  But I do not regret it.  It was the most awesome.  The calories in that sauce alone totally made up for the lack of actual food over the past 7 days. 

We finished dinner and then went back to the hotel to rub our bellies, pack and watch movies on the first TV we turned on all trip. And to put irrational amounts of conditioner in our hair.  Mine, at least, needed it.  I made the terrible mistake of not bringing a hair elastic to the lagoon so all of the things that are good for your skin in it reeked havoc on my hair.  It took four days of deep conditioning after I got back to Chicago for it to finally feel normal again.

We woke up the next morning and had our very last adventure of getting gas, and then returning the car - both of which gave me panic attacks (the former because I thought we were going to be lost forever, not get gas and miss our flight, the latter because I figured right away they would see the tire patch and we would be totally effed and out a bazillion more dollars).  Then we got to the airport and I lamented to the nice gentleman behind the check in counter how sad I was to be leaving.

So of course he offered me $1000 in Delta dollars to stay (due to an overbooked flight).  There was a moment, when I hoped McKim and Musar would decide it was a good idea and we would have one more day.  But when I really thought about it - I wanted to be home in my bed with clean clothes and more conditioner.  Though, a part of me wishes I had stayed for one more day at the blue lagoon.  Ah well.

Anyway - once we were through security.  It was time to go shopping.  And shop we did.  To the tune of me maxing out my international credit card, and then spending all of McKim's extra cash.  I was officially broke at this point.  But satisfied.

With 20 or so minutes to go before our plane we figured it was time to saunter down to the gate.  We got about halfway there and were greeted with a line of epic proportions.  All humans waiting to get on planes like ours.  The line was easily 40-minutes long.  And our plane was scheduled to be high in the air by then.

Panic set in once again.  Musar kept a cool head and found someone willing to let us cut in front of her in the epic line.  Why? Because this nice lady had just spent some time in Iceland and the goodness had rubbed off on her.

Finally we got on board and by a stroke of good luck and shenanigans I got to sit next to McKim.  So we could drink red wine to excess and talk about big, scary things.  And how awesome Iceland is.  Oh, and watch Jane Eyre (the new version) which was horrible.

Also we got to sneak a peak at Greenland as we traveled over it.  If we thought Iceland was bad ass, it was Greenland's wimpy, hospitable little brother.

Finally, we were back in America.  And then after some wrangling, I was back in Chicago.  And where was my luggage?  Cincinnati?  Of course it was.  So I went to the Delta lady and she took one look at my smelly, hungover, bedraggled, sad-at-being-home self and told me they would drop my luggage off at my house.  Be pathetic and polite- and people will be nice to you.

I get on the blue line to go home and suddenly, I am overwhelmed by everything.  The noise, the smells, the people, the fact that there aren't waterfalls and purple flowers outside my window.  It was hard to come to terms with how much I fell in love with nature over those 12 days.  I fell in love with small towns and vast landscapes.  With adventure and solitude.  With trying new things and old things. 

Iceland was amazing and every penny was worth it.  But it wouldn't have been half the trip without the two gems I traveled with.  They both made the loveliest of travel companions and I hope this trip hasn't turned them off me for life, especially since I bogarted the baby carrots...and used their pictures on my blog without asking.

Thanks for coming along this journey with me.  These posts will change as I get the energy to add additional links and tidbits.  Just getting though the story was (clearly) an arduous process.  And if anyone is reading to this point, thank you for listening.

Let's Tempt Fate - Days 5 & 6

I am pretty sure that everything that happened in Iceland before day 5 of this trip was just making us cocky. However, in the moment, I think we just thought we were getting comfortable. We thought we were doing juuuuust fine. Little did we know what lay ahead.

First adventure was a total dud. We got up at 6 AM and head out to Snaefellsjokull National Park only to be told that we couldn't get into the visitor's center until 10. Womp womp.

And so my only pictures of Snaefellsjokull were taken out of the back of the car. I am sad we missed it, but it was billed to me as "Little Iceland" (as in its got all of the neat stuff of Iceland packed in to a much smaller space) and since we went ahead and did regular-sized Iceland, I feel like its okay that apparently, the staff of the visitor's center is extra lazy.

So we skipped ahead to our next adventure, Helgafell which is a hill, just outside of a cute little town called Stykkisholmur. The jam with Helgafell is you get to make three wishes BUT there are a lot of rules that need to be followed.


First - you need start in the correct spot which we are sort-of-kind-of-maybe sure we found, but really we just started where everyone else did. It would be super hilarious if they made the start of the trail not the actual start for the wishes-bit. But those Icelandic people, they are way too nice to pull that kind of crap.


Then- you have to walk up totally silent. And you cannot look back until after you make your wishes. This, I am pretty sure is to get all the tourists to shut up for like, 10 seconds, because it totally works. This was the longest stretch that we were awake and not talking the entire trip. Just for good measure we didn't talk at all until we made it back down. We are dead.ass about wish granting.


And finally, you get up there. You face East (there is a compass up at the top, thank the little baby Jesus) and you (silently) make your wishes.

Then, of course, you take a bunch of touristy pictures, and on the way down you judge the people coming up behind you who clearly have not been told the rules because they a) talk and b) look behind them. They will obviously die miserable and alone for not following the made up rules.

After the hill, there was a stop at crazy awesome church two in Stykkisholmur, which looked crazy from all angles. Followed by a lighthouse and some water.

 

Then it was on to Holmavik. The cutest gosh-durn town I have ever seen. The most important stop was the Witchcraft and Sorcery Museum where we learned all about what is needed to cast Icelandic spells and how you will totally get burned at the stake if you are at the wrong place at the wrong time and some one's wife is sickly.

After this we spent some time talking to the man in charge of the visitor's center who was excited to tell us all about his lovely town. When we explained that we had bigger and better things to do, namely the Latrabjarg cliffs. We should have noticed his hesitation when we said that we were just planning to drive out and come back. But no. We had climbed a HILL. With Wishes. Nothing was too big or scary for us.

Turns out driving the Western Fjords was EXACTLY that big and scary. It is a little bit Stella the GPS's fault. Stella had a habit of telling us a destination would take a certain number of hours and then continuously adding to that number as the journey progressed. So the journey we were told would take three hours one-way actually ended up taking about six. Bad Stella. Stella also failed the mention that the roads would be terrifying.

 

Anyway, they say its the journey, not the destination that matters. Which is good, because we never made it. We got within in a mile of Latrabjarg cliffs before realizing that our little, cute rental car was not going to make it on the dirt. So we turned around and did the whole crazy thing AGAIN. This time with a stop at a waterfall to keep us from going totally insane.

Naturally, a six hour trip on the way there is also a six hour trip on the way back which meant we didn't get to our hotel until 2 AM. Just in time to realize we needed more music to listen to in the car and oogle our adorable hotel room that we would only spend six hours in before heading out again (a note for you travelers out there, if you are going to try to replicate our ambitious journey, find cheap hotel options - nice hotels are nice, but its not worth the cost since you will only sleep in them and even that you won't do much of - although a private bathroom every night or two makes a world of difference).

Day 6 was the day S.S. Big Britches got taken down a few notches when we were told that we had a flat tire. But by the grace of all the best things Iceland - the town of Holmavik came to our rescue and we got our tire patched by Kali (because Danni was in Reykjavik).

By the end of the tire patching adventure we had just enough energy to drive to Husavik, see the Phallalogical Museum (easily the weirdest thing I have ever paid admission to), take a picture of Courtney next to the phallalogical bit of a sperm whale, go grocery shopping and actually take some time to enjoy the second nice hotel in as many days.

Party time in Reykjavik (Days 3 & 4)

I slept the most of any of the nights on that first one.  Mostly because I hadn't slept in two days.  But after that, no more than 6 hours.  Because while it is pretty weird going to bed when its bright as day outside, its way weirder to wake up, thinking, based on where the sun is in the sky, its 9 or 10 AM and having it actually be 5 or 5:15 AM.  So not so much with the sleeping, which is fine because there was plenty to do.

First things first, be interviewed on Icelandic Public Radio.  My Admiral Ackbar radar went off when the guy asked us questions about what we were excited to see, but I tried to answer honestly and not say too many Icelandic words because that's where I was going to embarrass myself.  Anyway, I have not heard anything about the three stupid, American girls who humiliated themselves on the radio.

The up the bell tower we went, so that we could see the city from a tall building.  Which is always fun.  Even though all cities kind of look the same from the tops of tall buildings.

After bell tower time it was pancake time.  I had heard a lot about Icelandic food but no one mentioned the pancakes and no one mentioned the rye bread (which I will get to later).  So we went to C is for Cookie for a pancake, slathered in chocolate and then piled high with perfectly, homemade (trust me, I know) whipped cream.  It was so sad when it was over.

We ate a LOT of food in Reykjavik.  Which was good, because we basically stopped eating once we got on the Ring Road.  All the food was delicious, but this was probably the most delightful.  Light and perfect.  Icelandic pancakes are by far the best of all pancakes.

And then it was off to the Icelandic History Museum.  Which was educational and awesome.  Why?  The kids section!  I feel like the kids section of most National museums is lacking, because they feel like they need to make the whole museum kid-friendly.  This of course, backfires because kids hate reading and you can only extrapolate so much from a poorly animated movie.  So instead, the Iceland Museum is a grown-up museum chock-full of knowledge but it had a room full of awesome kid things.

Like Dress Ups.

And Viking Props.

Other stuff too, but this was the best.

After learning it was time for more outside stuff.  And more eating.  We had our first Icelandic Hot Dog which was just as amazing as promised.  So amazing that we continued to eat one a day for the rest of the trip (no seriously, we did).  Then a bowl of rye bread ice cream at Cafe Loki.  Rye bread ice cream seems to only exist at Cafe Loki.  And its worth the cost of the plane ticket for a bowl or two. 

We went out for a late dinner. We had seriously problems getting a grip on what time it was ever, which made us really late for nearly anything we did after 6 PM.  The fact that we didn't have dusk to signify that the "day" was ending, so we better wrap things up like functional, polite humans was a serious problem, and to all the guesthouse owners who had to let us in at 11 PM or later, I most sincerely apologize.

Dinner at Cafe Paris, who was the only place that would seat us (at exactly 11 PM, which is when we sat down for dinner...while it was still light out) so we dined and then went on search of drunken adventure.

Here's the thing about being old crotchety ladies in our late 20's.  Our tolerance for loud noise and rude young people is very, very low.  So first we ended up at The Dubliner, which looks exactly like every Fado I've ever seen.  There was a special - 1000 ISK (so about $10) for a shot of Opal OR Topaz and then a cheap, terrible Icelandic beer.  Courtney managed to talk me into it.  And it was a terrible decision.  Opal or Topaz, which ever we ended up with (I'm honestly not sure) tasted like Jagermeister's skanky younger cousin that wears thigh-high boots to Christmas dinner.  The beer tasted like water that someone had left a nickel in.

Then we ended up at the English Pub.  You might think us xenophobic, but honestly they were the first two bars we came across that didn't have techno-dance-vom-bom music bursting through the closed doors.  In the English Pub, random strangers handed us beers and because we have never seen a Lifetime Movie, we happily took them.  This ended up being a totally fine choice, though probably not one we would have made in any other country (Icelanders have a rep for being really nice and not total sketch balls, and they totally live up to it).

Things get fuzzy from here on out.  All I know is that I spent most of the night dancing around as the band played covers of all the songs my parents used to list to, wearing the scarf I pilfered from our table at the Dubliner.  Occasionally I would strike up conversations with random strangers (and sometimes my two friends, when we weren't yelling at the single one to go make out with tall nordic lads, sorry McKim).  It was a lovely hazy blur.  And when we stumbled onto the street at the ripe hour of 3 AM, it looked like it was 6:30 at night.  It was still weird.

On the way home, in the vain hope of finding a clean bathroom, we ended up on a side street that had my favorite piece of street art ever.

In normal places, it would have been dark, so I would have never seen this.  But in Iceland it was just the perfect light for a picture.

 

I know you don't think I took these pictures at 3 AM.  But, trust me.  I did.

The next morning we got a late start as we realized our little respite was coming to an end and the real adventure was beginning.  First we took this bus to pick up our rental car.

If you know me, you know exactly why this was awesome and exactly why we took the bus when we could have easily walked the half mile to where we were going.

After we picked up the car, we went to the flea market, which reminded me of the Aloha Swap Meet on Oahu.  So many things about Iceland felt like Hawai'i.  These two very proud cultures living on crazy volcano islands that are gorgeous, but are also literally ticking time bombs just waiting to spew hot magma and ruin all your fun.  After a lunch at the extra kitschy Viking restaurant it was time for a ROAD TRIP.

On our road trip, we went clockwise at the island.  Starting at about 7:00 or so - (if you think of Iceland as a clock with the north of it being 12:00 - obviously) our first stop was Barnafoss and Hraunfossar.  This was the first time I knew that we were no longer in Kansas.  Gorgeous waterfalls steps from the high way with hilarious and amazing backstories.  Awesome.

Arnastapi (so 8:45 or so?) was our final destination.  On the way there, I fell in love with Iceland even more that I had before.  I totally got the best straw, in that my friends did all the driving while I sat in the back and took pretty pictures.  We stopped and drove up some random person's drive way because they had a waterfall in their backyard.  That was the first time I lost my marbles about how awesome everything was that day.

The second time was when I had the best lamb chop I had ever had.  Ever.  At dinner.  It was over priced and it took about an hour longer than it should have, but it was perfect.  Mmm. Lamb chops.  This was the last big fancy meal we had before the end of the trip and it was the best send off to a life of sandwiches and ramen I could have asked for.

Then, because it was 9 PM and still looked like this outside -

 

We went on a hike between Arnastapi and Hellnar that was basically a very easy and fully oxengenated hike on a mossy moon.

This was number three awesome sauce thing. As we collapsed into bed with the snoring man on the other side of the wall (lame sauce thing one) with the sun shining down on us we knew we were in for an adventure.

Adventures in Iceland - Days 1 (sort of) and 2

Here we go.  My second annual rehashing of a Summer Travel Adventure.  Last year took me to Italy and France.  This Summer, two friends and I got the wacky idea to go to Iceland.  Here is our story as well as I can remember it.

Why must most/all fun adventures start in an airport?  And with packing?  Ugh, misery.  But I got all of my things into one brand-new suitcase and most favorite mint-green hiking book bag (now complete with platypus mechanism).  And so there were airports and overpriced airport food and then it was 10 AM and we were in Iceland. Weird.

So, before going to Iceland I knew only shreds, niblets of information about the culture, the history, the geography, the anything of Iceland.  I have mixed feelings (a pattern on this particular trip) about going about things in this way.  On one hand - it was pretty awesome to have nearly everything be a surprise - on the other, I am so afraid that the more I learn after the trip, the more I will regret not absorbing everything while I was there.  But I guess its a little late now.

One of the most amazing surprises was the Nootka Lupin.

Super beautiful purple flowers that are growing almost every where in Iceland.  Coming from the airport there are huge purple hills of them.  They were my first favorite thing.  The rest of the ride into Reykjavik was fairly bleak.  McKim and I both kind of wondered if perhaps all the amazing things we had heard was a giant hoax and this was like a double trick where it was called Iceland, but then their economy collapsed so they said it was green, but it actually was a barren wasteland.  Damn you Erik the Red!

And then we were in Reykjavik.  And it is Ahhhh-dorable.  I know its supposed to be a big, important, capitol city.  But more than anything, it reminded me of a city like Venice.  Or, for all intents and purposes, Frederick, Maryland.  It had a nice, walkable downtown area and then outer suburbs that you can largely ignore.  The houses in downtown Reykjavik are all wonderful colors!  Many of the newer ones are made out of an unfortunate aluminum sheet business, but they made it better with all the colors.

 Our very first landmark, after the adorable and hospitable Hotel Floki, was Hallgrimskirkja which is the weirdest, most spectacular church I have ever seen.

It was just two or three blocks from the Hotel Floki, and since it is the tallest thing for miiiiiles, it made it even easier to not get lost.  And it was very pretty.

The first meal was at the Cafe Loki.  It had been recommended by the nice girl at the hotel for being very "traditional Iceland." Since I am your typical, skeptical, suspicious American, I assumed that meant it was like a Planet Hollywood (which I am sure some conseirge is selling as "traditional American.") but it turned out to be small, lovely, inexpensive (relatively) and really delicious.

After lunch and some more exploring, we ended up at the 871 ±2 Museum.  Basically, while digging a foundation for some new building they discovered the foundation of one of the first settlements in Iceland.  They then figured out that the settlement was from the year 871-plus-or-minus-two-years.  And so they just build up some walls around it, had some history major write some copy, and now they charge $15 to see it.  So hilarious and awesome.  We didn't pay to go in, already slightly horrified at how much everything cost, but we had fun peeking down at it, from the glass window that they put at street level.

After the walking, it was time to eat again, so we made this choice.

I went to Iceland really unsure about if I was going to try the whale.  I had friends on both sides of the argument and then it just happened.  And it wasn't until after it was all gone that I started to feel some feelings of uncertainty.  So I read a lot about it while I was in the country, and then I felt more uncertainty and then I realized, that it doesn't matter because I had already digested it, the whale was gone long before I got there, and it was really (really) delicious.

After whale and some over-priced shopping it was time to try out the geothermal baths. The hot pots were broken so we ended up just in the pool.  It was fine.  I wished we had tried another one before the Blue Lagoon.  But we checked it off the list.

Then we checked, super amazing delicious meal off the list by hitting up one of the newest, trendiest restaurants in Reykjavik (the name of which totally escapes me). It was amazing, and when we walked out at 11:30 PM we were greeted by our absurdly long shadows.

The first mind warping midnight sun in Iceland.