TYOE: Las Vegas

I may look 29, but my mental age is far closer to late 80's. I like sleeping and breakfast and things that are quiet. I used to be all in for late night parties and making questionable choices but now when I do that I wake up the next morning wishing for a black hole to crawl into to sleep forever.

Las Vegas was a place I figured I had aged out of at this point.  With the exception of perhaps an outlying bachelorette outing, I thought I might never make it.  But it turns out, I was going to spend the anniversary of my birth in the city of... something (lights? bad choices? whatever).

Here is how to do Vegas if you are old and grouchy like me:

Stay at the Elara. It has no casino inside, which is nice because no one who isn't staying there is wandering around drunk and it never smells like cigarette smoke. It is technically "off the strip," but it is a very short walk (less than a block, inside or outside) to put you smack dab in front of the Bellagio.  The rooms are great, the pool is great, and it does not have a resort fee.  Stay there.

Go see "O." People are not joking when they say this is THE show to see in Vegas. It was perfect. It was two hours of pure magic and delight.  I found myself just wanting to watch it again and again. It is absolutely worth every penny you spend to see it. 

Eat one all-you-can-eat brunch. My vote? Le Village buffet at Paris. Brunch is the preferred buffet meal because you get the best of all worlds. Eggs. Cocktail shrimp. 47 million macaroons. Eat at 11:00 a.m. and then you will never have to eat again. 

Cocktails at Parasol Down at the Wynn. We only found it because we spent most of our time in Vegas just exploring, but it was my favorite. An outdoor bar overlooking a gorgeous waterfall where you forget you are even in Vegas. 

A birthday treat from Jean Philippe Patisserie. You only turn 29 once. 

Here are some other ways to pass your time (if you hate gambling):

Slots and video black jack. This might sound like gambling but if you do it right, you can make your money last the longest and get the most free drinks (coming out kind of ahead at the end of it all).  Also, it takes so long to lose your money (if you make the lowest bids possible) that you forget how time works and find yourself stumbling back to your hotel room way past 3:00 a.m. patting yourself on the back for being a real gambler without the devastating heartbreak of losing your entire life savings. 

Another show.  We saw Penn and Teller which feels like the obvious choice.  They are super political these days though. I do not know if they have always been the Libertarian magic show, but yikes stripes personal freedoms, we get it already.  My vote would probably be for Absinthe if we ever go again.

Play arcade games at Excalibur. When you're sick of losing money for no reason, switch it up and lose money because you are playing arcade games.  Boyfriend crushed a game of Indiana Jones pinball so hard. It was the best fifty cents he spent on the entire trip.

Sit by the gd. pool. It is 80 degrees. Do it. Stop rushing around and just enjoy your vacation. 

We also ate at Lotus of Siam, The Peppermill and Fleur - all of which were also super delicious and worth it. 

If we can get to Vegas and stay there for under $300 a person, I would totally go back. I love anywhere I can sit by a pool in late October but honestly, it is kind of overwhelming and sad. You are having a good time and then you realize this is basically a giant resources suck in the dessert that steals peoples' money with their permission. The free drinks are nice, and the nice architecture is nice, and as a place to just walk around and enjoy it is fine - as long as you can forget that basically this is a place where sanity and good choices come to die.

TYOE: Charlotte

Charlotte was the perfect city to visit on the tail end of a week-long stay in Maryland, and right before we brought out the big guns: Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Seattle and the Treehouse.

We stayed with one of my longest-time friends C-sea, who has lived in North Cakalacky for almost 10 years. This is my first time getting down there, so clearly, I'm the worst friend.

She and her main squeeze, E (together they are known as Chellis) - own the cutest, pinkest house at the end of the lane. It was so fun to get to see how they are decorating - and since C-sea is a Pinterest queen - it's pretty amazing. She should probably blog about it. 

We had two requests for this trip: good North Carolina BBQ and their favorite brunch. Otherwise we wanted to drink and sleep. This is not how this trip would have gone five years ago when it just would have been up in da club for 48 hours straight. But an old lady knows what she wants: good food and an early bedtime. 

Chellis totally delivered in both departments. Our BBQ was courtesy of Mac's. Despite a flighty waitress and an inaccurate beer list, it was crazy delicious and far less biker-y than the exterior would have you think. It was an arm and a leg above most places in Chicago. And I'm always happy to have a choose-your-own-adventure BBQ sauce experience.

Brunch was courtesy of Heist. I normally am hesitant to jump into an all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast because I feel like its a quantity over quality disaster. Not.the.case. Everything was so amazing. Most amazing? The giant waffle that Danny topped with baked French toast?! What?! What?! In second place was the endless train of mimosas maxing out my daily intake of bubbles. Mmm. Bubbles. 

We also snuck in a meal at Loco Lime because I was craving a margarita. It was Mexican food which is pretty much the same in Chicago and Charlotte.

In two days, we had three meals. And we were satisfied. That's how delicious and filling everything was. God bless the South. 

Charlotte has a crazy brewery infestation - we let Chellis pick a couple favorites and ended up at Triple C and Birdsong. In a cage match, my money would be on Birdsong, but go to both and you can be the judge. 

We ended our weekend at Whiskey Warehouse for more mimosas. Because I was lying before and there is no such thing as too many bubbles. They have a killer roof deck that would have been perfect except you can still smoke on bar patios in Charlotte, which truly was the only tick mark in the con column of this trip.

That's it. Food and drinks and playing catch up with some of my favorite friends- Chelsea, Ellis, and sleep. Thank you for a perfect lazy weekend. 

Good morning

This is the view I woke up to this morning from my treehouse. The city girl in me will never die, but I could get used to this. 

Deep down in my gut I have that sinking Monday morning feeling but right now I could not care less.  

TYOE: Maryland (part 2)

More eating recommendations for any time you might spend in the Fredneck/MoCo area.

Isabella's has an amazing lunch tapas special. 3 ladies x 3 plates each = all the fried asparagus. Their plates are generous and delicious anytime but lunch seems like a no-brainer.  

Bonus points for popping into Muse, across the street, and buying a beautiful handmade stuffed animal for one of your besties, or any of their other amazing locally created trinkets and delights. 

I do not spend a ton of time in Charlestown, West Virginia but my favorite little monsters (ages 4 and 6) live there, and I have it on good authority that they are pizza experts, and they eat Papa Johns. So, clearly Papa Johns is the best in the biz, with a little Yellow Tail Shiraz blend for the grown-ups, hello Tuesday night.

Side note: this was the first time I have gotten to hang out with these kiddos in about three years, just us and not our entire enormous, loud, crazy pants family. It was so wonderful even though they are quite simply, the rottenest. 

I have a crafted a theory about the restaurants Voltaggio after having eaten at all four.

If you are looking for a fancy, lets impress everyone meal - you go to Volt. If you want to do this and have it not be an incredible strain on your wallet, you do it for brunch. 

If you are looking for a delicious dinner that will make everyone happy - you go to Family Meal. You make sure you have at least one order of duck fat fries for the table (maybe two if some people skipped lunch), and you order the fried chicken. Let your friends make their own choices, but don't mess around with this, it's fried chicken or its pack it up and go home.

If you need a sandwich, go to Lunchbox (duh). 

If you are just looking for some short eats and a craze-mazing cocktail, you go to Range. Having eaten dinner at Range, I can tell you it is not worth it. The price tag on a meal that makes you full is steep, and for the quality of food, impractical. We had some amazing bites, but that only made the bad ones all the more obvious. Get the rockfish, and the sunchokes, and anything that you can smear bacon relish on. Get a drink, be brave and order something with at least one word you don't know, and then be done.

When Congress continues to deny you buttermilk fried alligator bites, Good Stuff Eatery is getting all the sloppy seconds by way of some realdecent cheeseburgers. Get a milkshake, because you only live once. If you see Barack Obama there, tell him Rachel says hello. 

Pacifico has sangria. Apparently they have food too, but after all that cheeseburger, sangria is all you need to spend an afternoon catching up with your friend-who-is-family.

When you find out your 21 year-old sister has never eaten Greek food, lament her entire childhood being spent in Western Maryland, and then head to Ayse (pronounced Eye-shay). You must get the Brussels sprouts. This is not a negotiation. These are world champion Brussels sprouts. They are so freaking delicious. Get two, who cares, they're a mystical, magical vegetable. Then whatever other Greek food you need, which is mostly just lamb and cheese on fire.

For your final meal, you convince your Granny to take you out to lunch, and really the only acceptable place is Clyde's. Cross your fingers for seating in the hunting room and enjoy the bizarre placement of this kitschy Adirondack lodge in the middle of sterile, boring Montgomery county. Get whatever you want (a crab cake). Thank your grandmother for lunch and for telling you about all the ways you could be a better granddaughter. 

And then as you're leaving, get Chipotle at the airport, because there is a chipotle at the airport. God bless you, BWI. 

TYOE: Maryland (part 1)

When in Maryland, you should:

Make sure your flight is as late as humanly possible so when you collapse at the Hyatt House (which is technically in Virginia) it's the best bed you've ever been in. Bonus points for the free breakfast including omelet bar.

Go when the government is shut down, essentially ruining all of your well-made plans (to go here for the best lunch and here for the cutest panda). 

End up driving around historic Annapolis just enough to be mad that its raining and you can't find parking. Get your perfection-on-a-bun crab cake sandwich and some cookies at Chick & Ruth's. Take them to the movie you are 15 minutes late to (in Maryland, crab cakes can be brought in anywhere).

Try to get on the Bay Bridge at 4 pm, on a Friday, before a three-day weekend. Take back roads, feel like chump (yeah, a chump that didn't sit in two hours of crawling traffic).  Arrive at your lovely Aunt & Uncle's house for amazing BBQ from Em-ings).

Go to a backyard Maryland wedding, one chock-full of love, and family, and bliss. One where a flooded backyard is not a cause for crisis, but just moving the tent across the street. Get muddy, drink a little too much, eat all the crabs. Drive through a foot of water (the tide is in, duh) to stay at this crazy lodge. Celebrate two really fun people and the villages that made them so great. Steal sea glass off all the tables at the end of the reception. 

Drive forever. Listen to as much Mike and Tom Eat Snacks as you can. Make sure you get stuck in beltway traffic ruining any nap-taking plans you might have made.

Watch one of your forever friends get married. Be rescued from a stink bug by your 8th grade English teacher (who is also the mother of the bride). Sit at a table with people you've known for almost 20 years. Be overwhelmed at the amount of love you have experienced. Eat a cupcake. Ponder all the delicious cupcakes eaten in the past 48 hours. Feel lucky that you know people with good taste in baked goods. Dance. Sing. Skip the after party. 

Crush the free Holiday Inn Express breakfast buffet. Twice. Day drink and reminisce at RFD. Drink more at Del Frisco. Break into some National monuments. Take pictures with the nice police officers who won't let you break into others. Sit on Einstein's Lap. Celebrate the city that feels like it has always been yours. Eat a pretty good eggplant sandwich with your Dad. 

(This trip was 8 days long, which is too long for one blog, more yummy food recommendations tomorrow).

Quick note on routine

I haven't been on a train in a week, which is one of the reasons for the sudden absence. When you make a routine, all parts of the routine are required. For me, writing blog posts, in the morning, on the train required all of that.

Instead, I've flown into Virginia, criss-crossed the entire state of Maryland, regained my rightful title as Best Cousin in West Virginia, and had several boozy, slightly illegal adventures in DC. 

But today feeling the overwhelming need to commute (and wanting to get into DC without sitting in traffic) I took the train and had my first routine blog. 

It looks a little different here: 

It makes for a nice change. 

Real blogs start again on Tuesday. 

Fall Madness

It has already started.  A fall unlike any other. One that will leave me so grateful for any free moment I find myself in front of a television on the weekends.

It started with celebrating Wedding #1
now its onto trying to keep the luck of the Irish
then the biggest, scariest, work thing I've ever done
followed by getting our wedding guest on back-to-back Maryland style
with a week-long M'town trip snuck in on the tail end
chased by a trip down to Charlotte to see the incomprable Chellis.
then its Birthday Trip 1 LasVegasHooverDamGrandCanyon
with Birthday Trip 2 SeattleTeenytimeTreeHouse right behind it.
a weekend in Madison with one of my favorite baby Badgers and her delightful parents
time to try on a taste of famous with our third trip to Cali this year, L.A. style
(shhhhh, I have one weekend with no plans, donotjinxthis)
a turkey-time adventure in Orlando
my second big, scary work thing (significantly less big and scary)

Then there are two weeks until Christmas Vacation.

On.your.mark.get.set.go

TYOE: Michigan Wine Country

How to get Wine Drunk in Southern Michigan:

1- Make some friends-of-a-friend. It helps if they are a group of awesome ladies. This should not be too hard, since, as you go through life, you should only surround yourself with awesome people. It helps if at lease one of these friends-of-a-friend live in Michigan.

2- When one of these friends-of-a-friend invites you to go on a vineyard tour of Michigan say yes.

3- On the day of the wine tour, bum a ride from one of the other gals who is going from Chicago. Be sure to not get her phone number so that this random meeting on a street corner at 7 am can be as stressful for your Type-A personality as possible.

4- Get to Michigan. Hop in the van that was rented, meet your DD - who is one of the girl's mom. Present her with a Mom of the Year award for driving a bunch of drunk 20&30-somethings around on a Saturday.

5- Drive SO far to the first vineyard. Take time to get to know all these women who you've only seen a handful of times. Celebrate the fact that making friends at the age of 29 is rare - you're doing it!

6 - Get to the first vineyard and freak out - you did not even know that Michigan had gorgeous vistas. Try the wines. When the nice man behind the counter forgets how many pours you've had, do not remind him. Buy wine. Get a glass of champagne to celebrate the morning. 

7- Get lunch. Be grateful for the invention of the tuna melt.

8- Go to So. Many. Vineyards. Some are not great (but give you free wine glasses). Some have Bob Hope wine.

9- Find a vineyard with a good patio and have another post-taste glass of wine. Eat a cupcake because not only did your friend plan this whole amazing trip - she brought cupcakes. Remind yourself to write her a thank you note later.

10- Gear up for the grand finale. When you realize you are more that justalittle sauced, give the rest of your sangria to the girl with two kids because she is playing like a champion today.

11- Eat dinner. Be real dramatic when you think you might miss your train. 

12- Get to the sketchy New Buffalo train station. Make friends with whoever is waiting with you. Do that thing where you are so excited and surprised by dumb coincidences. ("You work in downtown Chicago? That's crazy, me too!")

13- Sleep the whole way home. 

TYOE: San Francisco, part 1.

So, on the last day of this trip - I got offered my current job, which promptly threw my life into a tailspin. And then there was the fact that we did so.much during this trip that I was overwhelmed about trying to blog about it. But I figured it all out. A post for San Fran food and then an extra bonus post for all the things we did including off-site field trips.

Cool? Cool.

Guys. First things first.

HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME SAN FRANCISCO HAS SO MANY HILLS?!

Seriously. I feel like everyone just assumed that I would know this. Why would I know this? Ya jerks. Needless to say, I was bummed, and so were my calves. I'm sure when you live there you get used to it, but nothing like walking around all day, only to be faced with gd. Mount Everest to get home.

I'm a lazy girl, but I tried to be real cool about it. Except I complained all the time. But just to Boyfriend, who is contractually obligated to love me anyway.

This trip, because it had so many parts and pieces that we had to do, it required an excel spreadsheet. No joke. We are such nerds.

Where We Ate (at least most of the places):
Chowder Hut Grill. This was literally the first thing we did after we dropped off our luggage. There are a million spots to grab a bread bowl right on the wharf, but we went to the one that seemed to be the most reasonably priced with a decent amount of seating. It did not disappoint. I wanted to eat about 400 billion bread bowls full of crab chowder. My heart. Oh. Its been 10 weeks, I still want it all the time, just propped up on my big old belly (that is full of previously slurped chowder).

Pat's Cafe. The first time we tried to go to Mama's the line was dumb. It was raining, it was 10:00 a.m. and it was the stupidest line I have ever seen. So we went to Pat's. It was good. Really, it is much harder to ruin eggs and avocado than it is to make yummy and delicious. Way to not screw up, Pats.

Jaspers. This place was recommended by a friend and it was pretty delicious. It was so hipster-y (I guess the best restaurants are these days) but the marmalade on my cheese burger made up for all the plaid button-downs.

Great Eastern. Boyfriend was apparently terrified of Dim Sum (as I am sure many folks from Indiana are) and so we got just regular chinese food. He experienced his first moo shoo pork and I regaled him with the story of how Buttmunch and I used to just eat the pancakes with white rice and plum sauce. This is to say, this food was totally fine chinese food. Probably better than I am used to, but  not so authentic that I was nervous.

Mama's. This place had a line around the corner at 8:00 a.m. on a Monday in the middle of May. I was expecting to have the most amazeballs, game changing brunch of my life. And I was? Satiated, but not blown away. I mean, yeah - that was a decent crab benedict and Boyfriend's cranberry-orange french toast was good, but...citizens of San Francisco there is so much else out there in the world of Brunch. Come to Chicago, we shall rock your world.

Lou's Fish Shack. We had a Groupon, which was good because this was so overpriced and touristy. But it was also kind of perfect for our epic post-bike ride meal. We were exhausted and did not want to have to think or plan anything. So to have a reservation somewhere just blocks from our hotel that served totally adequate sea food that filled us up. We were happy, touristy campers.

Zushi Puzzle. In an attempt to be true San Franciscans rather than tourists for a night, we tracked down a regular old sushi joint in the middle of nowhere. It tasted pretty much exactly like any decent sushi place in Chicago, which was a relief.

Ghiradelli's. Boyfriend remembers coming here with his family and I am a total sucker for nostalgia and ice cream. The wait is dumb, the portions are huge, but you have to do it. So do it.

If nothing else, all this traveling we have done has made us incredibly grateful that we live in Chicago which, to us, feels like one of the best foodie cities in the universe. And not only is the food in Chicago amazing, it is accessible. Sure we're home to Alinea, but we're also home to Kuma's Corner, and the Bongo Room. Amazing food in Chicago is not super expensive and not too hard to find, and maybe it's because we're living in tourist land when we travel, but we have struggled to find any city that matches it.

That being said - none of the food in San Fran disappointed. You cannot go wrong with fresh fish or sourdough bread and they worked that angle so hard. Well done, hipsters. Well done.

Eventually, I'll get around to talking about all the super fun things we did.

TYOE: 24 Hours in Nantucket

The human body really needs five days on Nantucket a year to function at its highest level. This year I only got four, and two of them were rainy - so I'm pretty much going to be draggin' ass for the next 12 months. Sorry Universe.

Back when I was a barefooted, dirty kid running rampant on the streets of Siasconset in search of a snickers bar before 9 a.m. there were rules about who came to Nantucket. Namely - you came with your family. End of rules. But recently the rules have been changed. I think because I'm getting to the age where I should be bringing the next generation of the family line buuuuut, instead I'm bringing my 20-something friends.

It's cool, Granny would much rather have drunken young professionals than great-grandchildren sleeping in her house. Everyone knows that.

Not everyone recognizes the five day rule, so I've managed to come up with the perfect 24 hours in Nantucket. When I am talking perfect, I am talking both controlable and non-controlable elements. Sometimes it rains. You will not have the perfect day - but you also probably won't get sand in your bathing suit. There is always a silver lining.

Here's how you do it right.

Get off the boat. Make sure your dumb friends who are meeting you don't drink too much the night before and forget how time works because the best thing about arriving on Nantucket is being waved at when the ferry is docking.

Eat some breakfast. I recommend Black-Eyed Susan's. If your human form does not allow for 45 minute waits for breakfast, I recommend Queequegs. If you're one of those "I'll just have coffee," people, head to The Bean.

Look at things in town. Some things you can look at include: stores, people, restaurant menus, fancy boats, water, bicyclists failing at cobblestones, fancy houses, the Brant Point light house, rich kids trying to sell you lemonade, aaaand all the crap in the Hospital Thrift Shop.

Get your Provisions sandwich. I don't recommend getting anything that is going to be made gross by spending a few hours in your backpack. Don't get the lobster roll. You will be the saddest.

Be up at the Visitor Center by 11:30 am so you can get that first shuttle to the brewery. If island boozing is not your thing than you can hike to Alter Rock with the rest of the 9 year olds. The Brewery is a great place to get boozy but its also just an awesme place to sit and eat a sandwich. I'm sure they have juice. Rainy day alternatives: read a book, the Whaling Museum, ice skating, taking an all-day nap.

Cisco Brewers has gotten a little high falutin' recently. But if you get there around noon, you should miss most of that. Enjoy as much brewery as you like and then take the most BOGUS EXPENSIVE CAB RIDE OF ALL TIME from the brewery to Cisco Beach. Cabs on Nantucket are proof that nothing can ever really be perfect.

$20 of bullshit later, sit on the beach, play in the ocean, take the always delightful beach nap.  Maybe you brought yourself a six pack, because you're a genius planner. Maybe you're trying to sober up a little bit because you're not 22 anymore. Whatever it is - have some perfect beach time.

Also, get in the Atlantic. It's cold, but so is your mom. Do it.

Then, get yourself back to 'Sconset. If you're super lucky, you have an amazing family who will drop everything to squire your friends around the island. If you don't have this, take anothe bogus cab ride. Sit in the back of that cab and think about capitalism.

If you're feeling like you need a Nantucket history lesson, take Polpis Road and peep Sankety light house. Make sure someone tells you about it.

Change yo' clothes (a day on Nantucket requires three outfits or you're not doing it right). Get boozy on the porch. Peep the ocean. Feel real rich. Ignore the mold. Tolerate Granecdotes* because they are the reason for the season.

Head back into town for dinner. The options change from year to year, but you cannot go wrong with Slip 14, 12 degrees East, Straight Wharf, or Cru. If you're a baller shotcaller - head to Boarding House, The Lobster Trap, or Company of the Caldron. And if you're on a budget - The Tavern, Sea Dog Brew Pub, or The Brotherhood of Thieves will feed you.

And now its time to wander around the town of Nantucket at night, stopping in bars (I'm not going to list them all, throw a stone and you'll eventually run into somewhere to serve you booze), stumbling over cobblestones, taking a trek down to Children's Beach to put your drunk toes in the water.

When you've had quite enough to drink, you finish the night with ice cream (from the Juice Bar - get a waffle cone, or you're a terrorist, btw) or pizza (from Steamboat Wharf Pizza) or both (if you're awesome). Get in one more dumb cab and stumble up the step stairs of your fishing shack. Pass out.

Wake up for a stroll to the 'Sconset Market for a pastry and a cup of coffee. Make sure you bring extra pastries for your hostess and whomever has been helping you out. No one doesn't like a 'Sconset Market blueberry muffin.

Eat breakfast on the porch. Enjoy all the people walking by who are jealous, both of your house and your pastry. Instruct them that the beach is to the right and the bluff walk is to the left.

Head back into town one last time. If you have some free minutes, you can spend them climbing the stairs of the First Congregational Church, picking up some Portugese bread from The Nantucket Bake Shop (I've already discussed my stance on this matter), get a Henry Jr's sandwich for the ride home (get it on the homemade roll, vacation is not the time or the place for whole wheat bread).

Get on the boat. Realize that you should have spent way more time on Nantucket because there was so much you didn't do! You didn't go see the airport from Wings, or rent bikes, or go to Madaket Millies for scallop quesadillas. LUCKILY, you're with a seasoned veteran, who will hand you a penny and instruct you to throw it into the harbor, just as the ferry rounds the Brant Point Lighthouse - and then you'll get to come back.

*Granecdotes are the new terminology for the amazingly hilarious, occasionally offensive, totally bizarre things that my Granny says and does. I love her so much, and without her house these 24 trips would not be possible, but she is legit old-lady-crazy.

TYOE: Boston

Boston has always been a stepping stone to the final destination. I'm there because I am trying to get somewhere else. Once, when NeedyT was coming out to visit me during my residency on Nantucket, I came for a little over 24 hours just to buy underwear and eat fast food. Ridiculous, but necessary. It was 104 degrees in the shade those entire 24 hours, making it ridiculous, necessary and pretty miserable. Boston was the elephant graveyard, Simba.

Last year, after a trip up to visit Buttmunch, I found myself with almost a full day here since that fateful trip that lodged Boston in my head as the bad place. In the ten hours I spent here with Cinderella last year, I ate proscutto, drank free beer and devoured a game changing lobster roll. This brought Boston up significantly in the rankings, but it still remained a city of being almost-there. 

This year, Boyfriend's job has dangled the possibility of a Beantown relocation in front of him like a scrawny, still dirty carrot. We figured before we completely shot the idea down, we would spend a few full days in the B.

The trip was made even sweeter by a few days on Nantucket on the front end, and an overdose of snuggles with one my new favorite humans. But ultimately, when we left we knew, it was not the city for us. What it has in being ocean-side and precariously closer to my East Coast family and friends does not really make up for it's over-priced real estate, lack of gridded street, and just "meh"-ness.

We'll go back to visit though, if only because we dropped the ball so hard on the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum (GUYS! That sweetpiece of architecture is closed on Tuesdays, do not drop the ball like your ball dropping friend, me). 

What we did:

Freedom Trail. Hey, are you interested in 10 or so buildings that are all kind of the same, with the same back story, and a couple of old-ass graveyards tossed in? Sah-weet. Get your ass on that little red line that through Boston. Real talk: Boston is full of game changing history. Literally. The Freedom Trail takes about two hours and you should do it. BUT! You should do it NOT on a Monday for the very simple reason that the USS Constitution is closed. Bogus.

Also if you're looking to really reevaulate your own personal level of physical fitness: climb the stairs of the Bunker Hill Monument, get lapped by a woman wearing a tennis skirt, hate everyone in the universe and then and cry into a bowl of clam chowder. 

The Boston Tea Party Museum. It is absolutely the most over priced thing I've ever been a part of, but there is something very satisfying about throwing tea into the river. In fact, if it was an hour of tea throwing, it might have been totally worth it, but there was way more listening to creepy anamatronics and LARPers teaching me about history than I would have preferred. Also, there is something oddly strange about playing pretend and yelling about throwing over our oppressors when we're the ones who do most of the oppressing now. But, you get a feather?! So there's that?!

Walked all the places. We pretty much ate all there was to eat for seven days straight and with the promise of a homemade lobster roll on the horizon, we felt as though we had to do something to earn it. So we walked from our hotel in the Chinatown-y/Financial District-y/How is there always a traffic jam-y neighborhood out to Somerville (nearish to the Porter Square red line stop, for those of you playing along at home). All told it was about 4 miles of walking through Boston Common, along the Charles River, through the faux-suburbia of Cambridge. In addition we walked Back Bay to Fenway which is not nearly impressive, but - I have to say, Boston is a totally walkable city. Its mostly flat, and pedestrian friendly. I dig that about you, Boston.

What We Ate:

Homemade Lobstah rolls. Not only did my friend make one of the cutest babies in the universe, she married a dude who makes his own lobster rolls. Winner, winner Lobstah Dinnah. I never feel quite so high on the food chain then when watching a lobster become my meal. Sorry you are so delicious, lobster.

Boston Commons Coffee Company. We ended up having breakfast here both days. Both days it was totally packed. On the second day, they had run out of bacon...it was not even 9 a.m. Were breakfast not such a highly charged, emotionally meal for me on a daily basis - we would have walked out then and there. But Boston does not have much going for it in the weekday breakfast scene. So I made it through. Their coffee was mega delicious though. And the food was good, except for the bacon foul up.

Warren Tavern. There is no official oldey-timey tavern of the Freedom Trail, but if Warren Tavern wanted to dub themselves that - they totally could. Located just far enough away from Bunker Hill's stairway of fat kid shaming to feel like you totally earned that secound beer, but close enough that you can get there without actually passing out on the incredibly narrow sidewalk. Its got that dark-wood-rafter-low-ceilinged-lots-tarnished-gold look of pretending that you're plotting the overthrow of the government. Also, the clam chowder has All.The.Clams. Oh man! Guys, seafood on the east coast is serious business. And I love that about the East Coast. Also, they know their way around a crabcake BLT which they should since they're the oldest tavern ever in the history of their internet website.

Mike's Pastry. The answer is Mike's Pastry. The question does not matter. hashtag cannolis. 

Corner Tavern. We wanted to check out the Back Bay to see how the real Brahmains live it up. Apparently the upper class likes their service bad, their grilled cheese delicious and their bar food reasonably priced. 

Flour. After we worked up a tea-throwing sweat, we went to the restaurant ranked #13 in the city. And, I'm not gonna lie - as sandwiches and whoopie pies go, it was pretty satisfying. I would absolutely tell you to go there post tea-throwing. But, if this is your 13th best restaurant, either everyone on Trip Advisor has terribly low standards or you have no good eating in your whole city.

Wagamama. GUYS. One time, I went to London and I visited myotherhalfRacheltwin and it was awesome and we ate at Wagamama, which was also awesome, and that trip happened six years ago, which is CRAZY. Anyway, while we were there, we went to this amazing little noodle shop near the Globe theater. Then every time someone would post facebook pictures, I would always see it. It is the go-to for all your noodle needs in Foggy London Towne. When we walked past the one in Quincy Market, I was at like a 40 on a scale of one to pants-peeing excitement. What a random find! Naturally, I demanded it as our final Boston meal, to be stuffed in a backpack, x-rayed by TSA and then enjoyed on the plane to the jealousy of all our sucker planemates.

Boston. I do not miss you. However, we have one more date so I can peep this sweet, sweet architectural treasure - so man up before I get there. More London chain restaurants and babies, please.

TYOE: New Orleans

All of my previous New Orleans experiences involved my numba one stunna T-Bone. She drove me around, introduced me to all the best food and people, didn't get to mad when I straight up stole said peoples' mardi gras beads in a drunken, kleptomania-fit.

Boyfriend and I have spent a lot of time sharing cities with each other this year. Except mostly, he's been sharing the cities of his childhood vacations with me - and now it was my turn to do some sharing. The problem was, I had had so much fun (read: to drink) and T had been such an amazing hostess, I could barely remember where things were or what they were called.

Luckily, she was able to drop the perfect amount of knowledge for a quick weekend trip.

If you're going to go to New Orleans and not have a car, you either have to resign yourself to many expensive cab rides, looooong trips on the trolley (and buses), tons of walking, or just staying right where you are (wherever that might be, which is probably the french quarter). Our trip included all of the above. We probably would have done a ton more walking, but late June in New Orleans is decidedly not walking weather.

Actually, to be totally honest, June in New Orleans is kind of miserable all around. I'm sure its better than August in New Orleans, but we spent most of the time feeling dizzy - unable to imbibe liquids in the quantity that we were sweating them out. I knew what the weather would be like going in, but it is made much worse by the lack of car. You find yourself outdoors much more often when you have to wait for cabs and buses. Lesson learned.

We did have fun. And we did exactly what we said we were going to - which was eat, drink, and relax without feeling the need to do anything.

What we did:

Walked around the important cemetary. For about 30 seconds. The dead were probably sweating too, and we didn't want to be around when their sweat mixed with our sweat and they reanimated.

The Nola Brewing Company all-you-can-drink-shit-show. I don't know if that's what they call it, but that is what it was. And as it happened immediately after Commander's Palace, we were a hot mess. What Nola Brewing Company Beer lacks in interesting flavor profiles it more than makes up for in giving out as much as you can drink in souvenier pint glasses.

A ghost tour. Boyfriend's one request. It was later in the evening, once the sun had set, which made it delightfully psydo-spooky and was a much cooler option than a mid-day tour of anything.

Sat by the pool. Mariott, your pool deck in New Orleans is gross. I will still sit there because I cannot resist a pool deck, dirty towels and empty beer cans be damed.

Walked around the French Quarter. Of course we did. We're tourists. We had fun buying art and trinkets but found ourselves quickly out of things to look at. You need about 2 hours to explore enough of the french quarter to feel satiated. Any more than that and you're wasting time.

What we ate:

Commanders Palace. Three martini lunch for.the.win. If you go to Commander's Palace for dinner you are doing it wrong.

Felix's. Our sweet friend Sunshine said it was one of her favorite places and it was still open at 11 p.m. and not too far from our hotel. They probably were not the best po'boys in the city, but they were exactly what we needed, which was fried food and mayonaise.

Ruby Slipper. We were in a bad way our first morning there, and Ruby Slipper made eggs, served them to us, and made us happy. It was not a game-changing brunch but it was pretty freaking amazing. And, for as close as it was to the french quarter, not too touristy (at least, I don't think so, I was hurting pretty bad and not up to my usual quota of people watching).

Central Grocery. Touristy? Sorry. I am Not Sorry. I would eat a muffaleta from here every day if I could get away with it. Gimme all your olive tapenade. Now.

Boucherie. TBone took me here the last time I visited her and I was itching to go back. We messed up on getting a reservation and terrified that they might not seat us, I made Boyfriend get there half an hour early to make sure we were the first people in the door. He was not happy about this, because it required us standing outside with no greater purpose than looking pathetic so we would be allowed in to eat. Consider it worth it. We tried to eat outside our comfort zone, which was fun and delicious. But really, the reason for the season was the Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding. I wanted six orders for me. And then I wanted to eat the rest of Boyfriend's order.

Cochon Butcher. We got these sandwiches and then walked around in the hot, hot nola sun for another three hours before we ate them and they were still crazy delicious. I can only imagine how amazing they would be if they didn't have to swelter before being eaten.

New Orleans Original Daquiris. Okay, not food, but so delicious and untouristy. Worth venturing beyond the french quarter if you are feeling so bold.

Creole Creamery. Dear New Orleans: it should not take a trolley, a bus and a 10 minute walk to find some ice cream. Seriously, you are a million degrees at 9:30 at night. There should be ice cream on every street corner. Work on this. That being said - if this is going to be your only ice cream, way to knock it out of the park. A perfect cold good-bye to a hot, hot weekend.

TYOE: New York

The whole time we were in New York over the weekend, there was a little voice inside my head just repeating, "this isn't your city. This isn't your city," the voice hurt my heart as I had to accept that it is telling the truth.

New York was my city. It was mine. mine. mine. for the last year of high school as I planned to make it my home, and the four years I lived inside its harsh and overwhelming boundaries, and even after I moved away for the longest time - it was the city of my soul. 

And now? It's not. It's a city I love and will always cherish as a part of my story but it is not my city anymore.

That realization was a cloud over the gorgeous sunny weekend. It was like spending the weekend with an incredible attractive ex. I spent so much time and energy picking it apart so I wouldn't feel so bad about it not being mine anymore.

That being said: we had a super fun weekend. It was a weekend of firsts for me which is always a nice surprise from somewhere you have know for so long. 

What We Ate:

'wichcraft. I am a huge fan of Tom Colicchio from his lovable but tough turn as the Tim Gunn of Top Chef. But I had never eaten any food he created (designed? managed? idk). And the results were a little disappointing. Maybe we should have gone to Colicchio and Sons and gotten the real deal - but seriously?! It's a sandwich, it should be fool proof. And it was just kind of bland. It lacked (as they say in the biz) a strong flavor profile. Would I eat it again? Sure - but only if there was some sort of apocalypse and I had no access to any other sandwich option on the island of Manhattan.

L'arte Del Gelato. Gelato on high line park. I gotta hope this is what heaven is like.

Yankee Stadium Brother Jimmy's. gimme all your fried pickles. And I will eat them. And I will be mostly content.

Nathan's. Did you know the coney dog has nothing to do with Coney Island? It's cool - you'll still be happy with your chili cheese dog. 

El Salvadorian Truck Food. The Red Hook food truck party means business. It is for the real hipster food truck snobs and it is amazing. We got a sample platter with all the sides, plantains, paposas and a tamale and it was a delight. 

Old School. Brunch is the best worst thing that ever has happened to me. Easily my favorite meal but the one that requires the most logistical planning. My hatred of waiting for food makes it such a challenge to have an enjoyable brunch experience - luckily this place had no line and no wait and that gave it enough points to make up for the fact that they didn't understand Anniebelle when she requested "toast." Seriously?! Hipsters.

Milk. The cereal milk milkshake was so strange, but I do not regret it. Two days later I still don't know how I feel except, ok.

What We Did:

High Line Park. Oh. Like when your ex gets an amazing hair cut that changes their whole face and makes them indescribably sexier. The High Line Park is the stuff of my dreams. Everything about it makes me love it a little bit more.

 

Yankees Game. My first Yankees game! It was a baseball game. Over priced everything. Hilarious people watching and some out of tune singing. And they won! Which is always a good bonus. Plus on the ride home, we were idolized by some sweet lady from back-water Texas. She was so impressed we could live in a place where we traveled underground all the time..

The Mermaid Parade. So fun. I love a good meaningless excuse for adults to dress up. 

The NDI final show. When I think about what I really, really want todo when I grow up - being a part of this organization is near the top of the list. The show was the perfect way to spend a very hungover Sunday afternoon.

I love New York so much, and I am so happy that we got to spend a great weekend. I am so thankful to sweet Anniebelle for being an amazing hostess. I cannot wait to repay the favor and show her around my new mainsqueeze - Chi-town.

Nola night

I am lying on this pool deck chair. The weather is the most perfect its been these past two days. When the sun is down, New Orleans June is almost bareable.

I am full of Krispy Kreme bread pudding and cheap daquiri. I am boozy sleepy. 

And I am nearly packed to the brim with stress. Stress that I am not doing enough, that I am wasting this vacation time. We should be out drinking or walking. We are not go do see -ing anything. And this makes me anxious.

Until I remember that vacation can be this too. Vacation can be sitting quietly at night and nap taking during the day and nothingness sprinkled through. 

When did my life get like this? Is it because this is a "new" place that I feel obligated to strangle as much out of it as I can?  We now take vacations with to-do lists, saving all our idleness for the trek to Nantucket where you would be a fool to do much more than sit on the porch with a book. Why is that? 

Something to ponder while me and the rest of my white people problems fall asleep at 9:30 on a Saturday night.

TYOE: St. Louis

One of the sweetest humans I know married another keeper, and now has gone and gotten herself pregnant (actually BOTH couples mentioned in that blog have managed to get themselves knocked up which is kind of spooky, but awesome. Awesomespooky).

To celebrate KChu (who should now go by her married nickname, KHow) bringing a new awesome human into the world (and the end of girlie time as we have all known it thus far), we decided a trip out of town was in order.

I steamrolled everyone's twee suggestions about wine country and lake houses and demanded that we all go to St. Louis, because I have been dying to go to the City Museum for YEARS and I could not think of a better group of people to drag along for the party.

My sweet potluck group is the best. Every month (or so) we get together, make yummy food, and talk about our ever-evolving-ever-changing-ever-new-sometimes-scary lives. There tends to be lots of wine involved.

But we put the pots and pans away and went to the Lou for a quick girls weekend.

KHow and I took the Amtrak down to St. Louis from Chicago. What a dignified way to travel. I will truly believe that America is the greatest country when we get our collective shit together and build a high-speed railway. And then I will never get on a plane again.

The train dumped us and it was a quick walk to Lafayette Park and our amazing mansion-home for the weekend. KHow found this gorgeous house on vbro.com. This was my first time staying in a vbro-type situation and it.was.AWESOME. This house was stunning. Girls never get tired of playing pretend in a dream home, no matter how old they get.

The house was so great, we spent the first day just sitting and enjoying it. Doing work, eating snacks, occasionally going up and down staircases, just because.

Finally our diet of jelly beans and clementines was no longer sufficient and we hoped over to SqWires for dinner. We managed to get seats at the bar (which was great, because the place was packed) and ate a quick dinner. The food wasn't spectacular, but it was delicious and totally hit the spot.

The rest of our companions arrived late that night while we were dozing in the media room (as you do).

The next morning we made ourselves breakfast (you know a kitchen is spacious when seven girls can be futzing around and it doesn't feel crowded) with some help from Park Avenue Coffee and their good coffee and indescribable gooey butter cake before heading out for adventures.

After a few wrong turns and an excellent photo-op by an enormous tire, we made it to a two mile wall of graffiti (if you are looking for the legal two mile graffiti wall in St. Louis  - the best place to access it is at the intersection of S. Wharf St. and Chouteau Ave).

Then it was just a quick walk along the lovely industrial waterfront to the Gateway Arch.

Arch park is gorgeous. If being-up-high isn't your thing, then there is no need to go up inside the Arch. There is plenty to do and see on the ground. As with going up in any tall structure. It's entertaining for about six minutes. You take some pictures, comment on the view aaaand its time to come down. I thought it was worth the
$10, but I am sure there are those who would disagree.

All the best photo ops are on the ground anyway.

With a quick stop for a late lunch, we then (FINALLY) made it to the City Museum just at 5 PM (when the price drops from $12, to $10 - Score! And the place is open until midnight! Double score!). We had strategically planned to come later in the day in the hopes that perhaps there would be fewer children underfoot. Since we weren't there mid-day it was impossible to compare but there were still children evvverywhere. I get it, its a very kid friendly place (and on a kindofwarm early March Saturday, there aren't a ton of options for the kiddos) but, I would have been willing to pay $20 if we could have gotten some sort of adult swim type deal.

Even with the littles running around, we still had an amazing time. Not since my days spent traipsing about the original Children's Museum in Washington DC have I ever had this much fun within a museum's walls. There was very little learning, it was just more go! do! see! climb! crawl! slide! go more!

When you visit:

Play outside! You must trust that all the pieces will stay together and that you can climb out on that airplane wing and through that crazy tunnel. You can. And you absolutely should.

Make art! You'll be tired after the outside adventures. So paint. Get your portrait drawn. Make snowflakes. Create things.

Go down the slides!
There are two that cannot be missed. The monster slide - which is right near the ticket booth and is bright and colorful. And the 10-story-slide which is a little more tucked away. The entrance to it is on the first floor back by the caves. It is a surreal experience to slide down 10 stories (and one that will leave you dizzy and disoriented for a minute) but one you should have in your memory box.

Forget the Rules (or try to)! I've become a big fan of rules in recent years. But the thing about the City Museum is there are no rules. or maps. or instructions. You just go. Sometimes this can get terrifying (mostly when oblivious kids are blocking your path and you can't move) but it should be considered liberating to not worry so much about being right all the time.

After a few hours of go! do! see! all of us old farts were exhausted. We veto-ed a Washington St. dinner in favor of heading back to Lafayette Park (mostly because we wanted our walk home at the very end of the night to be as short as possible.

We made it to Square One Brewery for a yummy dinner (and even yummier drinks) before a quick trot home and a night of cupcakes, laughing and falling asleep midconversation.

We all slept late on Sunday and then stumbled back to SqWires for brunch (where there was a man playing piano! and a fireplace! the love is in the details, people) before heading back to Chicago.

I know there is more of St. Louis to see, but for the amount of time we had, it was nearly a perfect trip. We managed to get everywhere on foot! The sun shone down. We slept and ate well - there's really not much more you can ask for in a weekend getaway.

TYOE: San Diego

For our first on-a-plane adventure, we decided to cross timezones and spend some time soaking up all the Vitamin D our bodies had been missing during this dreary Chicago Winter.

San Diego is Guh-or-geous. We got off the plane and I was already ready to move in. Sure, I'll live in your crappy airport, just gimme all your sunshine.

The weather was in the 50's-60's all weekend with overflowing buckets of sunshine, and people kept apologizing for this! Nearly everyone we talked to was all, "sorry its so cold. I wish you guys got better weather this weekend." Meanwhile, boyfriend and I are walking around with our tongues to the sky trying to catch sunbeams. Sure it was a little cold for shorts, but I got myself a nice bit of color and so forgave everyone for the necessity of long sleeves.

Our hotel (priceline that 'ish, y'all) was right on the Bay and since we only had about 36 hours we decided that that's where we would spend most of our time. Sometimes you want to see all of a city, sometimes you realize that its better to enjoy what is right in front of you, especially in a place that is so easy to walk around in. This meant we had a very touristy weekend, but sometimes (hipsters, I'm talking to you here) being a tourist is Just. Fine.


Where we ate:
Top of the Market - ugh, so touristy. But we were starving and craving super delicious seafood for lunch on the first day. Swordfish tacos? Awesome. Atlantic Rock Crab Club? Kind of paled in comparison to the tacos. But not bad. Bonus Points? We were right on the bay and we got to watch old men in canoes fishing while we ate.

Spike Africa - We were super indecisive about where to eat dinner on Friday night and so walked in huuuuge circles, all over the Gaslamp district and into Little Italy before ending up here. I had the Ahi Mango Poke appetizer as my meal and it. was. perfect. Easily my favorite thing I ate the whole trip. With the Red's Strawberry Sail as my boozy side piece, I was the happiest camper. Boyfriend got the Island Pork Rib Plate (I'm not sure why) and was a little disappointed, but ordering ribs in a seafood joint seems like it would be a disappointing choice. So no pity over here.

Mission Beach Coffee Break - They had acai bowls. It wasn't nearly as good as the one we had with Maimees in Hawaii. But it was an acceptable silver medal acai bowl, enjoyed with our feet in the sand.

Roberto's Taco Shop - Six years ago, Boyfriend had a drunken burrito from this joint and has been dreaming about it ever since. We made that dream a reality, sober this time, which may have been a mistake. A California burrito is serious business. Some beer to line your stomach before the grease and fat train comes to town would not be the worst idea. So delicious and yet, much like jager shots and McDonalds cheeseburgers, something my body can no longer handle in excess.

Sally's Seafood on the Water - We were not super hungry after the dumptruck of burrito, but we needed something. Sally's had overpriced sushi. We ordered two rolls. They were so delicious. We were full and happy.

Cafe 222 - It's pretty hard to screw up brunch. And Cafe 222 held up their end of the deal by serving us eggs and carbs in a timely and delicious fashion. Just a warning: their website is obnoxious. Its almost bad enough to make me take away an imaginary star.

What we did:
The USS Midway Museum - So. Bad. Ass. Give yourself so many hours here (like >5), because even if you consider yourself disinterested in military history (me), you will be drawn to all the how-life-was intricacies of this place. Go up in the island. And all the way down to the engine rooms. Then think about how you walked around for five hours non.stop and still didn't see the whole thing. Wonder how something this enormous manages to float in water. Give the concepts of buoyancy and density some high-fives.

Mission Beach - We picked it because of its proximity to the requisite burrito stand. It was a little cold (and we a little didn't have towels) for beach sitting, but there was a grassy spot with palm trees that was perfect for reading and digesting said burritos.

Seaport Village - What a vortex of time wasting. I'm cool with being touristy but this was one step away from a fanny pack.

Mission Brewery - We did the beer-then-burrito thing a little backwards which made me feel pretty wretched. The beer was super good and the building was airy and wonderful. Even though my poor little stomach was about to explode.

Took public transit - The fastest way to my heart is an easy to use public transit system. The light rail and the buses were efficient and cheap and got us to exactly where we needed to go. Bonus points? We got to eavesdrop on some guy put out a hit on someone while on the bus. We felt dangerous, but safe.

Despite some crazy-expensive food and getting hosed in the hotel room department (no balcony?! weak), it was the perfect escape-from-Chicago-winter weekend. AND, it was my first time on the west coast! Ever (with the exception of some extended airport layovers)! Which means we got to fly over big Rocky Mountains and crazy flat Nevada! The East Coast will always be my number one boo, but I am diggin' on the rest of this fine land pretty hard these days.

TYOE: A Saturday in Milwaukee

2013 will be The Year of Exploration or TYOE.

For Christmas, Boyfriend gifted me the gift of adventure within the continental United States (just like on Double Dare!). Due to the absurd amount of flying for work he did last year, he earned enough miles to get me a Companion Pass on Southwest Airlines. And while many airlines would make you give up all your hard-earned miles for such a fancy piece of plastic, they let him keep the miles and the girlfriend-in-tow. So this year will be all about exploring as many of the places Southwest flies as we possibly can. The Year of Exploration (*trumpet noise*)

Well, our first adventure did not even require a plane ticket, just some gloves and a full tank of gas.

Boyfriend has been talking about this Spy Restaurant in Milwaukee forevvvvver, and we got the braintrust-y idea that we should go explore it in the middle of February when Milwaukee was a balmy 16 degrees ABOVE freezing.

I've discovered that when Boyfriend and I travel, we focus most of our energy on eating and drinking and walking around. We'll wander into a museum every now and then but we love food, we love booze and we love walking around burning off all those delicious, delicious calories. Are there awesome museums in Milwaukee (and the other cities we will visit)? Absolutely. Will we visit them? Meh. Maybe. We'll see.

The day started at Trocadero for brunch. We picked it for its proximity to the Lakefront Brewery - and in that regard, its awesome. We were told we had to have a Milwaukee Bloody Mary. I don't know how The Frenchie compares to other Bloodys (since I don't drink them on the regulars, being a mimosa girl myself), but it was spicy and delightful. The beer chaser felt unnecessary but I mean, when in Wisconsin... The food was fine, but I feel like its pretty hard to foul up brunch. The service wasn't great, but since we were only walking across the river to get to our next destination, we weren't in too much of a rush.


Then! After brunch, we discovered that the Holton Street bridge has both a convenient pedestrian walkway AND a sweet teeny-tiny little playground. Full of brunch and a little tipsy, in 16 degree weather, is not quite picture-perfect swinging weather, but we gave it a shot.


We mulled over which brewery to go to (Lakefront vs. Milwaukee Brewing Company) and ended up at Lakefront because that is where Facebook told us to go. It was a great experience, but now we want to try out Milwaukee for comparison's sake.

By 11 AM we had both had about 1.5 beers and were feeling AWESOME. Day drinking is the BEST, winter, summer, don't care. I like my beer while the sun is shining. The tour was fine, the beer was good (although we were disappointed in the lack of variety in the brew pub) and we walked out with two complimentary pint glasses (just what every household needs more of - pint glasses).

Three beers in and feeling buzzed to the max, we meandered down the riverfront path. I bet in the summer it is super gorgeous and full of fun things, but I have to say, with a snowy river and literally NO ONE around, it was kind of perfect.

We made it to the spy restaurant (with a quick stop at the statue of the Fonz which is sort of meaningless to me as I have not ever seen a single second of "Happy Days." But I love a good photo op).                 

The spy restaurant at 4 PM lacked a little of the required ambiance. It needs some darkness and to be less full of screaming children. But we had some fried cheese curds and ice cream (Lunch of (drunk) Champions) and a fancy martini and explored all the fun spy bits. If you really want a Super Spy Experience, get your ass to the Spy Museum in Washington DC and do the Spy training thing. I know its expensive but it is WORTH it for the James Bond power trip. 

We made it down to the Public Market which eeeeeveryone said we had to visit. Not knowing what it was, I was up for it. Until I realized it was just a giant, uber-trendy Whole Foods. 

Had we not just stuffed ourselves with sweet, sweet cheese we may have been amped for artisanal pickles and fresh halibut but it was just noisy and smelled funny so we left to find some non-food third ward adventures.

We found an amazing antique shop (in the same building as Paintball Dave's) and spend an hour or so convincing ourselves that we did not need a whole bunch of garbage (despite how bad we might have wanted it).

By that point, buzz worn off and cold starting to seep in, we made the choice to be done with Milwaukee. Was there more to see? Sure. But going to a museum at 5 PM is dumb and we live close enough to find comfort in the fact that it will always be there, hanging out, waiting for another day of drunken stumbles.

Celebrate your local adventure! Visit a small city within driving distance today!