Valentine's Day last minute small and sweet gift guide

If you are looking for a last minute Valentine's Day present, look no further. I do not have many talents or skills, but I am a pro at the very cute, very thoughtful, very simple present.

This is the Valentine's Day version, but you can use this guide for birthdays, Arbor Day, Kwanzaa, whenever you feel a gift is in order.

Also, if you're feeling a little frisky while reading this tutorial, feel free to sing along to one my favorite love songs, Dickin a Box.  But seriously, your actual first step is to get yourself to Target. I know big box stores are evil, but you are going to find everything you need and it's going to be quick and easy (just like your mom, hey'yo!).

Target always has these boxes in the dollar bin and they're adorable. Get a holiday-specific one, or just a cute one that you like. I was digging this gold and cream and with a pink ribbon, c'est parfait.

Everyone loves candy, right? If you have someone on your list who does not love candy then get them some packs of gum, or little to-go granola bars or bags of trail mix.  Something small because this fills the bottom of your little box.

I picked these raspberry hershey hugs that I had never seen before (which are pretty delicious and perfectly pink), and some really cute Lindt Hello bars. We may have done a taste-test of these bars to make sure they were not poison and they are AMAZING. And so freaking adorable. Nice to Sweet You? Get out of town adorable, delicious Lindt.

I am a big believer in practical presents. Just because you're giving a gift does not mean it has to be totally whimsical and useless. For this type of present I try to do two different sized presents.

My recommendations include:

• Tights or GOOD socks. Not everyone can pull of hot pink tights like my good friend Jilly (the receiver of this box) can. But everyone can use some super warm smart-wool type socks. You can do holiday specific socks if you want, but people are going to love you more if you buy socks that are not chained to being worn one day a year. Even just pink or red socks would be fine.
• Magnetic notepads. Can never have enough of these. Always useful and can be regifted without you feeling bad. Everyone always needs somewhere to write things down.
• Cute, small kitchen appliances. My secret admirer (aka, Merlin, my mom's cat) got me this zester and I am on cloud 9. I needed a zester and I never thought to buy one, but now I just have it and my lime tart will be better for it. Garlic mincers or presses are always a good choice. If you have a friend with a Kitchen-Aid, find a cool extra blade/attachment that they might not have and pick that up. 
• Eos chapstick (or Burts Bees, but if you are going for a color theme thing, Eos is your best bet).
• Cute pink or red nail polish. Essie makes a billion colors perfect for any occasion. Have fun spending 45 minutes in front of the nail polish display picking out your favorite.
• A delicious chocolate bar (this should really go without saying). More chocolate is always a good idea. Or some throw-back candy, like Fun-Dip. Remember Fun-Dip?!
• For boys (if you buy boys present) - a little red race car (yes, even grown-up boys will get enjoyment out of a race car, the love of Matchbox never dies).
• One of those cups with straw that everyone has now, or one of the $1 Starbucks coffee cups.

If you know something that they desperately need (measuring cups, new underwear, dog treats) feel free to throw one of those in, something cute and small.

If you Fancy, you can get a card. But a cute post it note does the job (these are from Pea Pod Paper and Gifts).

And you're done. Simple, thoughtful, and adorable. 

My Valentine and I are working all day then rushing to hop a plane where we will enjoy complimentary boozy drinks (thanks Southwest!) and then spending the weekend meeting one of the newest additions to the family and eating at Boyfriend's favorite restaurant. The cafe in the National Museum of the American Indian. 

Any other great Valentine's Day hints and tricks to make things sweeter?

Hazel eats



For Christmas, Santa Claus got Hazel the type of present my grandmother is

 notorious for getting people- the type that you didn't ask for, that you didn't need, and that is making your life way worse than than no present at all.

Her vet, Dr. Danny (seriously) who is all of ten years old told us last year that our baby girl is chubby and if she ever wants to make the cheerleading squad she's gonna have to drop some of that 6 year-old pudge that cats get when they are not required to actually hunt for her food. 

He said she needed a feeding mechanism that was mentally stimulating because that's totally not psychologically messed up at all for a girl who is overrating because she is sad and lonely. 

So we got her this half-moon thing that she hated but eventually it became no longer a challenge for her. Eventually kids learn how to climb up to the top shelf and you have to start all over again. 

So for Christmas, Santa went to Fab.com and got her this thing that basically looks like it should have come with some teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures.

She is still not speaking to me. What kind of terrible cat mother am I? As if wrapping it in Santa paper made if less of a dick move on my part. 

She has started to get the hang of how to eat out of it. What I did not take into consideration was that for the most part her method is to stick her paw in the little bin and then pull it out so as to fling as much cat food all over the floor as possible and then just eat it right from the filthy wood.

Not only is she pissed at me, and covering my floor in passive aggressive crunchies, she now has the table manners of a goddamned raccoon. 

When that method of eating doesn't work she just waits until three in the morning and stands on my side of the bed yowling her displeasure like a hippie on a hunger strike. 

I am not sure why I feel the need to torture this animal in such an elaborate and overpriced way. I really felt like it was in her best interest, which is fairly indicative of where I am in "starting a family," department. 

Seriously, what self respecting animal drinks like this?