Thursday, February 23, 2006

come on now...

Does anyone buy into those eharmony.com commercials?

For some reason there has been an influx of them on my TV screen and instead of focusing my attention on boring things like the paper due in six hours and the turkey bacon burning in the pan (...again) I have actually tried to watch them and look at these couples. My first assumption is that they're actors and pretty heinous ones at that. It really doesn't take that much to act/pretend like you love someone. The least you can do is make eye contact (something none of these winners' acting teachers ever bothered to tell them).

So if they aren't actors which I sometimes think (due to their heinous line readings) then Yikes! These people have long, miserable lives ahead of them with this person who they think the love but (as anyone with eyes and a TV can see) obviously don't.

And also, in every single couple there is one ugly person. Occasionally the inner monologue of the attractive one comes out and I hear, "Ohmigod! Why is my fake soul mate so ugly?! Damn you eharmony and your personality profile! Why do I love someone so attrocious?!"

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She's pint-sized and amazing.