Monday, June 07, 2010

Steps of Knowledge

We're sitting on the couch watching youtube clips of old Nickelodeon shows this evening. A few things -

The hosts of these shows were cracked out of their minds. Kirk Fogg has cocaine dripping out his eyeballs. Also the host of Nick Arcade could not look more ridiculous. He basically spent the whole show wearing Bill Cosby's hand me downs. But more white.

You Can't Do That On Television is maybe the most unfunny thing ever. Like state funeral unfunny.

The aggro crag was really just a junk heap. I used to think it was made of like, synthetic mountain material but its really just razor wire and old CPUs. All those kids had tetanus.

Why were kids so terrible at the wave pool on Global Guts? They were filming this in Florida (California?), one would think they had experienced water with some current to it at one point in their lives.

Seriously - it was like the part of SNL after the music act plays unfunny. So terrible.

I don't quite understand the mechanics of Nick Arcade but 1 - apparently neither did any of the kids and 2 - that show was just a desperate plea for kids to buy video games. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that show is why the kids of today are build like baby elephants.

There was a moment in time where the show was called "Super Sloppy Double Dare." That sounds like the beginning of a very low budget creeper Porno.

Also! On double dare there use to be a challenge where you had to pop balloons?! Ugh.

I would have never taken the physical challenge, because I seem to know the answer to every single question on that show.

Wild and Crazy Kids was just a gratuitous waste of resources. Apparently we didn't really care about the world when that show was on. No need to conserve anything. Just pour it all over each other while people laugh at your misfortune.

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She's pint-sized and amazing.