Monday, January 30, 2012

The Case for Uggs

Some scenarios:

1 - You have what is clearly a deathly bout of the flu.  You have been lying around and moaning for hours only to discover you are out of the healing nectar that is ginger ale.  You probably won't pass out on the street but you are also not putting on a bra. It is 20 degrees in Chicago. You throw on an extra sweatshirt and your fluffiest scarf and prepare to battle the elements with some seriously weakened humors.

2 - You have a busy day!  First you have to go to ballet/yoga/zumba then you have to play with some super adorable little kids who will inevitably demand that you watch them run around in circles outside. You hurt your shoulder (in a past ballet/yoga/zumba class) and are trying not to carry around a giant bag.  Luckily, you can take class barefoot - but hanging with the tots? Not so much. Its 20 degrees in Chicago (and if you think that kids don't run around outside in 20 degree weather in Chicago, you are missing the point of this assignment/do not know kids from Chicago).

3 - It's Friday night and you just got home from work only to discover that you are starving and there is nothing in your house.  Literally nothing because you just ate the last snack sized thing of pickles. You call your favorite pita joint and ask for them to deliver some chicken shawarma with a quickness.  They say it'll be about an hour.  You will be long dead by then.  You still have on all your work clothes but have kicked off your super cute but uncomfortable pumps in a symbolic gesture of throwing off the bindings of paternalist female objectivity...or whatever. You know that if you leave now you can be back on the couch in baba ganoush heaven in fifteen minutes. Its 20 degrees in Chicago as you get ready to put back on your coat but recognize that no amount of caloric necessity will get you to put those monsters from Aldo back on. 

The question at the end of all of these scenarios is (of course) - what do you wear on your feet?

And one acceptable answer for all of these situations is you wear your Uggs (or your bear traps or whatever my knockoffs are called - I am calling them Uggs because I can type it faster, but to be honest I love my $40 version far more than my o.g. pair of the real deal).  You wear them and it is totally fine.

So many blogs have been coming down hard on Uggs in the past few weeks, trying to explain that there are so many other less-ugly boot options, which is true, but every shoe has its moment and for Uggs it is all these moments.

Once you get to be a grown-up, it becomes socially unacceptable to wear your slippers outside, no matter how much you might want to.  You know you've seen that woman on the 10 PM news who just lit her cheatin' boyfriend's car on fire - she is always (always) wearing slippers.  You don't want to be her.  But why would you turn up your nose at the most slipper-like thing you can wear in public without having the Channel 10 news team chase you down?

I wouldn't recommend wearing Uggs on a date or a job interview but if you need tampons and a bottle of Little Penguin?  Sure. You're spending all day running around because despite the freezing cold, everyone is either getting knocked up or married and you have to go spend your life savings on gifts they will return for cash? Fine. You're about to go into the office on a god-forsaken Sunday because your boss conveniently did not scan nor email you the files you need before your presentation on Monday? Do it. Go.

Sometimes you just want to be comfortable and warm. And you deserve it.

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She's pint-sized and amazing.