4 Summers Later

Four summers ago, I was 23. And Barack Obama and all his friends, let me live out my wildest dreams.

I got to go to the Democratic National Convention and not just as a guest, but as a photographer - a career I had almost not even dared to dream about because it seemed so out of reach. It was one of the most exhausting, inspiring, eye-opening, amazing 4 days of my life.

Childishly, it let me, if just for a few days, believe in my dreams. I got to believe that I really could DO anything. And I realized that that was the theme of 2008 election for Barack Obama supporters. Hope. Change. Dreams.

Its been four years and I have been watching this year's DNC and I am flooded with both nostalgia - and a solid reality check.

This summer, the summer of 27 - has been much more bleak. I am not crushing hard on a boy I barely know. I am not enjoying the hedonistic life of a part time job and a city full of adventure. And I am most certainly not living out any dreams.

This is a summer of cold, hard reality. And watching this convention has made me realize that the election is mirroring that again this year. Its not about far-fetched dreams anymore. Its about keeping things real.

And if I have to live in this country for the next four years, I want Barack Obama's reality. The reality that will let my friends marry whomever the hell they want, that will maybe raise my taxes - but will raise everyone else's too, and the reality that will not only make health care accessible, but let me make all the decisions about my own body - no matter what.

I'm all grown up at 27 - I am willing to put my dreams aside because I know things are busted right now. But as I sit listening to these speeches - I am determined to live in the reality that the President has offered us. With any luck - we'll get back to the dreams soon.

An Update: The Witch from Next Door

A while back I wrote a little piece about Kathy Afzali (and get used to seeing that name a LOT. I know how google works). You can read my first Kathy Afzali piece by clicking Kathy Afzali.

And while I am sure most of you are friends with my mom on facebook (who isn't?) and know how this all went down- for the rest. Here is how the people in charge of the government act sometimes:

Finding Kathy Afzali's original note to be incredibly rude and disrespectful, my mother asked (face to face, like a grown up) if she would reconsider. Kathy Afzali SAID NO.

Kathy Afzali literally said that our family was not allowed to use a driveway that had been shared for over forty years.

So we ignored her. Because, sometimes when you ignore a gnat - it goes away.

But no. Kathy Afzali came back and dropped some legal bizness on mi madre. She was going to take my mom to court. Over some pavement. That she, herself, personally, does not actually use.

Let me repeat that. Kathy Afzali, delegate to the Maryland House of Representatives District 4A, threatened legal action over a piece of asphalt that is, literally, 10 yards long and that has been shared for half a century.

I'm sorry, but shouldn't a delegate to a state as amazeballs as Maryland have better things to do with her time than threaten legal action against her constituents? ...but I guess trying to pull a fast one on women, gays and minorities takes less time than I think it does.

The end of the story is that after meeting with some people, my mother was told that she could probably take Kathy Afzali to court and win - but she would need to pay a lawyer and legal fees and take time out of her actual job to deal with this woman. And really, who has time to deal with Kathy Afzali?

So Mom is throwing in the towel on this. But I'm not. I am not bound by any of the moral ethics my mother tried to instill in me.

Kathy Afzali - I find you to be a wretched person. Truly. I have such high hopes for women in politics - even when their opinions differ from my own. And you have confirmed my suspicion that there are some people out there who are really just mean. And awful. You are all the worst things about suburban sprawl, the real estate market and "my-way-or-the-highway" modern conservatism. And you're bothering my family.

To all those reading this. Please feel free to tweet at Kathy Afzali (@Kathy_Afzali). Or write on her facebook page. I would - but I've already been blocked (her little busy beaver interns are on their game). Or write her a letter. Give her a phone call. Ask her why she has it out for her own neighbors and constituents. Feel free to share this with people who vote in Maryland. Make copies, pass it around. People should know the real Kathy Afzali.

Good Fences?

My Mom has lived in the same house for 20 years. I love it. There is a part of me that wants to quit my current life, move home, and spend my next few years renovating it. We've had our share of kooky neighbors, but we've always had pleasant enough relationships with them. Perhaps not friendly, but always cordial and respectful.

Well, this morning (last night?) my Mom found this note taped to her front door.

This woman's house (that she doesn't live in, mind you, she just rents out - driving down every one's property values in an already *awesome* real estate economy) has a driveway that we have been using for 20 years. Before we used it, the people who owned our house for 20 some-odd years before us used it. Why? Because when you live in small town full of nice people, that is what you do. You share things like decent, civil human beings.

But now Kathy Afzali has decided (after a single complaint) that being neighborly, and kind, and a decent human being is trumped by being kind of a dick.

This has nothing to do with her being a delegate for Maryland (which is something she is probably fine at doing), this has to do with her not being a particularly nice person and I, for one, wouldn't want not-nice people representing me in government. But, I don't vote in Maryland anymore. Its not really up to me.

I feel like this is a perfect example of how people have just become more rude and antisocial. Why is that? Why are we all jerks? Even just 20 years ago, there was no question about us using that driveway and now we are getting passive aggressive notes addressed to "neighbor." Kathy Afzali didn't even have the decency to find out what my mother's name was and address it to her personally.

This note is not particularly rude when just read, but when you take the time to learn the back story, and if you know the community - you would know that the polite thing to do would have been to knock on the door, and work things out. When you own property in a small town, you do things the small town way, right? Otherwise, what is the point of living in a place like this? Move to Urbana if you want to be mean.*

I am just angry. And disappointed. I don't image that Kathy Afzali has any interest in being a good small-town neighbor and I doubt this blog will change that. But I wanted to put this out on the internet in the hopes that it gives someone else pause before being so inconsiderate.

*Ooooh. burn. Sorry Urbana, I didn't really mean it.

On Why.

I have been thinking a lot about Barack Obama's interview today and it took a few hours before I realized why it matters as much as it does to me.

It matters for all the obvious reasons (like how it directly affects people that I love) but there is another one -

Its a way to start changing the minds of uninformed kids who I want to grow up to be awesome.

I know a bunch of really great kids who are new to this country. And through the fault of no one they have become very involved with various churches in the city. It makes sense - you come to a brand new country and you're going to look for support and guidance wherever you can and churches are good at being there.

But some churches come with Ideas.

And it seems that the kids I know with seem to go to churches who have taught them that being gay is wrong. When I ask them why they think being gay is wrong they tell me that is what the bible said. When I ask for another reason, they seem to think that the bible one is pretty much all they need (isn't that always the way with biblical reasons for anything?).

And because I am just me, and I am not a Church that is backed up by Parents and a Community (well, I come with a community, but it is smaller and, for understandable reasons, less valued) I felt powerless to try to argue with this biblical reasoning that everyone was so confident in believing.

Meekly, I could just say I hope they treat everyone respectfully no matter who they love. And they came back with, "but its wrong." And I bit my tongue - because they're seven and twelve and it felt like a battle I wasn't ready to have and lose.

But NOW?! Now its not just me fighting this battle alone. It's me and my good friend, Barack Obama - someone that all of these kids worship for looking like them and having stories that sound kind of like their own. In their eyes he does no wrong.

There are so many losing battles in the world, in politics and in my own little world of trying to help make things better wherever I can - and finally I feel like there is one I might be able to win.

***And I know that he is being kind of wishy-washy by saying that its the states' right to decide, but lets be real - the kids I know in particular probably would actually care more about his personal opinions than any sort of laws he passed.

The time is now

I don't normally write about politics because I believe someone who admittedly gets a majority of her news from The Daily Show and the Wonkette app for iPhone can't really call herself educated. And if I am going to spend most of my waking moments judging people for talking about things they know nothing about - I feel like I should keep my mouth shut when I can.

Despite the fact that I am some what undereducated, I still have Beliefs and Concerns. These aren't knowledge-based so much as they are intuition and morals-based. And really, they are what shape my political ideals (that's fairly standard, right?).

At any rate, this Ron Paul kid has been garnering a whole bunch of attention and I heard all of these people, who, I thought, shared my Beliefs and Concerns, saying how they thought he was the right choice.  So I did that internal double take, the one where you don't say, "Wait. What?" out loud because you feel like clearly there is something you're missing.  There is no way these people would be for a candidate who, you're pretty sure, is a blatant racist, and misogynist

Welp. Turns out I was right on this one. Ron Paul is exactly as bad as I thought he was before. Thanks to Tim Wise for breaking it down all simple & metaphorical like right here.

And if you are a Ron Paul fan - please read this op ed piece and let me know if you have a counter argument.  I know I came down a little harsh and if you think I am wrong - I am legitimately interested in hearing the argument for this candidate.  I mean that completely seriously.  Please tell me that I (and Tim Wise) are wrong and explain how.

Until then, Tim Wise is my favorite for making me feel like even if I don't know a lot, my gut tends to be pretty spot on.

the one where I equate politics with college dating.

I started this blog post awhile ago, and the abandoned it for adventure and being a whiny baby.  So it is slightly less topical, but still very valid and something that is constantly on mah mind.

A few weeks ago, I read this little jam and it hit me, real deep.  Because I remember the days and weeks when I didn't believe in Barack Obama.  The months of primaries when I was just not feeling the political game he was spittin.

And then, something happened.

I heard him speak.  A lot.  And I heard the people who love and support him the most speak.  And there were the speeches you could hear right through, but there were ones that made me feel like, "listen, I know this guy and believe me - he plays for keeps."

And so I jumped on board.  All the way.  No looking back.  Because when your country is a proverbial dung heap and you are teetering on the edge of grown-up-hood, relying on the people in charge to do you right, you have to have faith in your decisions.

But over the past few year or two, dread has crept into my psyche.  Its the worst of the bad break-up stories.  He's not the guy who has the moral cajones to admit he's not ready for a real relationship, he's the guy who keeps forgetting to call, and doesn't come out when he says he will, and forgets your birthday BUT insists that he loves you, and your his girl and he's doing the best he can and sometimes he writes poetry and slips it under your dorm room door.

And so (because you are a 19-year old girl in this particular metaphor) you keep trying to believe in him and convince yourself that he just needs time to figure it all out.

But how much is too much time?  Or the right amount?

And listen, I am extra-double aware, that he was given a rough hand.  And no one is willing to cut him a break.  And it makes crazy angry.  But I just want him to fight for my honor you know.

I want a stranger to hit on me in a bar and for him to punch that guy in the nose and tell him that I deserve a country with good schools, and affordable health care, and a chance to own a house, and funding for the things that matter to me and if he (the stranger) doesn't like that, then he can get lost.

Is he going to do that?  Is he?  I am much more grown-up than I was two years ago and I am legitimately fearful for the things that are happening in this country.  And I just want some one to tell me its okay and then back it up with some action.
  

Book 13 - The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

I think one of my least favorite, but most often asked-of questions is, "What kind of books do you like to read?" It's mostly just frustrating in its misguideness. 

Why in the world would you limit yourself to "one kind" of books?  I know there are people out there who do such a thing, and I salute them for even picking up a book at all, but am frustrated by close and yet so far they are from having their lives changed. 

For example, when forced to give an answer besides, "everything," to the above-mentioned question, I often spout "post-apocalyptic fiction." Which pisses people off because they want you to say something that can be easily categorized.  If they continue the conversation (I find that this answer can be a turn-off to many) and let me explain (Margaret Atwood, Hunger Games, blah blah) they then eventually ask, "wow, are there a lot of books out there like that?"  The answer, at least according to me is, "in the grand scheme of things, not really." Which is why I hate the pigeon hole it puts me in.  How frustrating to be leaving David Sedaris, Erik Larson and others off my most favorites list. 

Anyway - soap box aside, I love all books.  Some more than others, but I am willing to give anything a shot.

image (via)

Creative Non-fiction is always a genre I forget how much I love.  To be learning real facts AND being entranced by a fascinating story?  Epic. Win. 

Boyfriend recently discovered how awesome books are and his somewhat creative non-fiction bent has been a fantastic ying to my crazy-dramatic-make-'em-ups fiction yang.  He has a whole pile of books that I cannot wait to get my fingers on, but I started with this (bought by me, not by him - for book club). 

Ms. Skloot spins a pretty fantastic yarn.  I don't want to get bogged down in summary - but this book is about the first "immortal" cells - the HeLa cells, which essentially revolutionized science and the woman (and her family) that they were taken from.  Its a hefty story to undertake, and from what I read - she put in her time.  She researched and worked for over a decade for this story to come alive, and for someone who cannot focus on something for more than 5 days without totally losing interest, I am completely in awe of her dedication.

However. I wish there was less of her in the book.  I feel as though I am reading her story of learning about these people and things when I wish I was just learning about the people and things.  Maybe I'm wrong, and it would lose a lot of the relatability if you took out her perspective, but to me- it feels as though she is trying to bestow upon us, her knowledge, rather than the knowledge that just exists.  When you read Devil in the White City - Mr. Larson is not a part of your experience.  And I think, that is what I love so much about it.  It transports me back to that time.

And, to be totally fair- the events of this book happened/are still happening much more recently than most creative non-fiction I am used to reading.  So that changes things.  But I still couldn't shake the fact that I wanted less of her, more of these people.

I have to give her mad props though - talk about being at the right place at the right time.  Affordable, accessible health care has always been a struggle in low-income area (obvs.) but I feel as though in the current political climate, this book struck a particular cord that resonates louder than it may have 10 years ago. 

I will be totally honest with you - parts of this book made me cry, and some made me seethe with the injustice of it all.  Mostly it just overwhelmed me with how much I truly did not know about the lack of true privacy in the world. 

I was fully aware that my spirit, and my image will live in infamy on these crazy internet tubes, but I honestly had no idea that if I was at a hospital (which I haven't been really yet, but give it time) - any bits they take out of me, I no longer own or have control over.  Of course there are forms and what not, but the thing that I got most out of this book is that releasing control of your cells, the things that physically make you, you - sitting, reading, breathing, digesting is what needs to happen for any sort of advancement in science.  It's some what violating to think, not just because they take what makes up you, but that you can't really control it.

If that doesn't freak you out enough, just think at least I am giving you the heads up...there are people (Ms. Lacks being one of them) who had their cells taken without anyone telling them or their families.  And while the idea of monetary compensation is a huge one (though not one I want to get into) it is something to just know.  Know that your cells are out there changing things - and if my cells are the secret to curing something (I really hope its morning breath or why I biologically need to eat a whole bag of yogurt covered pretzels in a day) than I am stoked I am doing my part.

I just want the people who give their cells (ie - everyone) to all have equal access to the medical advancements that might come out of it - regardless of financial situation.  Its really only fair.

Four more years

I think my love of voting stems from watching too much West Wing as a teenager, and assuming that if I voted enough times eventually Jed Bartlett would be president and Allison Janney would be my friend and everything would be perfect.

It hasn't turned out that way - but voting is still one of my most favorite things to do.  Up until this year, I voted absentee in every election, which is fun and convenient, but does not really hold a candle to actual voting.  Which is why I am probably one of the only 26-year olds who gets truly amped to head to my polling place.

And!  In the past four months I've gotten to vote in two different elections!  And they're not your run of the mill elections either, I am responsible for picking the first mayor in approximately 4 billion years who doesn't have the last name Daley.  Apparently, this is huge.  I've only been here for five years, but people say he was mayor when the only constituents were cave people, and his Dad was mayor of the Dinosaurs.  The Dinosaurs!

The last election did not turn out so great - because we apparently live in a country/state where everyone has lost their goddamed mind, or just quit cold turkey on caring about anything.  This was all fun and good in November when I could just be morose about the future, but now the future is here and I am angry.  For a million bajillion reasons, but mostly just - I am angry that people don't realize that they caused this...this funding of what's really important (NASCAR) and this refusal to fund the fluff stuff (Planned Parenthood, NEA, blah blah thing) - wait, strike that.  Reverse it.

Not voting in America is kind of like not drinking in Canada or another ex-British colony (or really anywhere in Europe).  They practically give the booze away when you're, like, a toddler, and you stick your nose up at it?  Wait, what?  Why?  There is really no reason.  "Oh, I'm not drinking because it'll take time out of my busy day of playing on facebook."  "I'm not voting because if I have one ballot I'll have to work out twice this week."

Anyway - so I'm all voted.  And I will be totally honest - I did not have time to make a fully informed and educated choice in my alderman election, which is distressing because its pretty important, but I was busy moving and knew that almost anyone would be an improvement over the current alderman.  So I voted with the person who had the funniest sign in their campaign headquarters window -

back story - there was a rash of window breaking in campaign offices back in the Fall.  I like that this guy had a sense of humor about it.  If nothing else, this ward full of gang violence, mismanagement of public funding, and disaster-crap needs a little humor - and probably more cops (also he kind of looks like Colin Firth).

I do feel like I made the best choice for mayor.  Its distressing to know that the person you're voting for has no chance of winning, but refreshing to vote for someone who has ideals that you agree wholeheartedly with (also - he's the ONLY person running who has not been or is not still a criminal - stay classy Chicago).

But none of it really matters - what matters is I did it.  Its so awesome that we live in a place where you get to vote.  And if you don't think that's true, look at the people all over the world who are fighting for that right, right now.

Musings on my walk home

If I ran the country:

- WIC/Link/Food stamps would only be redeemable at Organic Groceries, Farmer's Markets and CSAs. And also for the ingredients to make things (like yeast, flour, eggs etc). Naturally this would mean that you would need to get more money on your link card but that's fine because its going to farmers.

- 70% of the cost of every gallon of gas would be a tax. And the money from that tax would go towards funding public transportation, trains and bicycles.

- No one under the age of 14 gets a cellphone. Because I say so.

- For every prescription of viagra (or viagra-like pill) that they cover, the insurance company must also cover the cost of HIV medication for someone who cannot afford it and/or give money to rape crisis and counseling centers. I'm not above diplomacy and bipartisanship.

-All restaurants have two options - have a way of telling you exactly where all of the ingredients they use come from or putting warning labels on their food describing what sort of antibiotics/crazy business is in their food.

These are just a few things that I would change. You don't have to agree with them, but then again you also don't have to vote for me.

In other news - this essay made me want to buy Steven Thrasher a nice steak dinner. And then call him the next morning to see if he wants to get coffee or something.

Change smells like cinnamon

You might not like Barack Obama.

You might snub America's two party system.

You might think this is just the first sign of the Apocalypse.

But here's the deal. Its history and its real. Say what you will about Barack Obama, but he is a different candidate. He wasn't handed everything on a silver platter. He was involved in the community and half of his ancestory would/was kept as slaves in this country. And now he is president. And I know that you can't vote for the lesser of two evils and we have no idea how he is going to do as president - which some would say is a curse not a gift.

There are a lot of things I can say about my life, but few things that I would probably ever want to share with my children. And I finally have something. I knew exactly where I was when the election was called. Standing on the corner of Jackson and Congress in Grant Park with a random pile of people. Some of whom I had never met and some of whom I love very much. I know what I was wearing (black north face, jeans, grey tee shirt, navy tank and a "hot women vote Obama" button).

I remember the people standing on top of the portapotties and the giant Obama poster being carried around and looking into the faces of all these excited people who really hope that a change is on the way.

And you might not care, or you might hate him but you have to appreciate the fact that people cared. People were there. And that. Is powerful.

Pants on Fires...

So, I've only seen about 10 minutes total of the RNC because that is about as much as Granny and I can collectively stomach. Its so strange being at the DNC and watching the RNC and trying to compare the two. Is it just me, or are the speakers at the RNC fuckin' mean? (Sarah Palin, I am looking directly at your stripper-Librarian face right now) And beyond that - they're liars. I guess, I'm liberal so I agree with the liberal views that I heard last week, but I mean - everything I heard seemed to be true. It seemed like the crap spewing from the mouths of the RNC puppets was just untrue.

Not being very political I kept my mouth shut until I came upon this in a blog I stalk.

I'm glad to know its not just me. And, I was out not watching McCain tonight, so I'll youtube it tomorrow and I'll absolutely dissolve into tears because there are people out in this world who actually think he would make this country a better place...and there are people out there who think that when McCain kicks the bucket, Palin is going to get to be her sassy mini-van driving VP self, that she won't essentially become the puppet of the powers that be in the republican party.

Gross.

Nantucket is nice though.

D. N. Flippin' C.

Its over. Its all over. I've sent my last blog (which might not even get posted), I've put up the rest of my pictures

I have all the buttons I'll buy here. Which isn't very many because I didn't get as much shopping time as I wanted. But I have plenty of schwag and 1300 pictures and this story to tell my grandkids.

It was really, really, reaaaaally overwhelming. By the end of yesterday I pretty much lost it and had a freak out for a solid 30 minutes before I managed to get myself back together. And I almost got hit in the face by a cop (you're going to have to ask me for that story). I loved getting to take pictures, but the life of a photographer is nuts and I wasn't even a real photographer so I can only imagine the added pressure when you're trying to get paid for your work. Also, your camera is probably pretty heavy when it is as big as most of theirs.

But I have to say, the once in a lifetime-ness of it all made it so worth it. I mean, I was there!! I saw Barack speak. I was 5 yards from him when he surprised everyone on Wednesday. I listened to Michelle and Bill and Hillary. I watching Hillary letting her delegates go, which was one of the most heartbreaking things ever (being a loser sucks and losing on this level probably sucks even harder and yet you have to keep smiling all the time). I saw Dennis Kucinich rev up a crowd more than I've ever seen (for the number of people in the audience, which wasn't many, making the amount of noise they made, which was a lot - I think it was one of the most well received speeches of all 4 days).

I don't think of myself as really political, just opinionated and I went into this thing not getting the big whoop about Barack. I know people who love him, and I respected their love but there was always this voice whispering in my ear, "he's just a presidential candidate" but I guess its because we haven't had a candidate like this in so long. I mean, I didn't see Kennedy run and I didn't see Clinton run (well, I don't really remember it) so maybe its because these past 8 years have just given us lame candidates. But when I got up there and listened to him speak and watched the people react to him, it made so much sense.

He's a rockstar. Liberals love rockstars. And I know there's some seamy underbelly to his story, but that's politics. People want to believe in him because they're running out of things to believe in. And while I don't totally feel that way, I respect it and am very interested to see how he does for the rest of this election.

Also, I touched a Kennedy. Which, if you aren't a democrat before, you sure are after. Bobby Kennedy Jr gave a 15 minute speech standing on a chair in the middle of a Gumbo restaurant in downtown Denver at 10 PM on Tuesday and it was amazing. It was stump-y of course, but it didn't matter. He's got the genes for it.

So here's the blog - which hasn't been updated all day, which sucks, but might be updated tomorrow. And pictures.

I'm ready to go home though. A whole three days of work, class, packing, unpacking and then off to Nantucket.

Michelle Obama has an amazing backside

My first day at the convention was one of the most overwhelming of my entire life. I am feeling really guilty right now because everyone is getting ready for the day (my Aunt and Uncle who have so graciously allowed me to stay on their couch are now cooking me bacon) and I am sitting here blogging and posting pictures to Picassa. I'm going to put up a few more pictures before I get ready for day 2 (Barbara Mikulski! Mark Warner! HRC!). My blogs can be found here

And my pictures can be found here


So check those all week!! And check here, if I get a chance I'll post here, but probably not because the FNP actually hooked me up with the press passes so I have to keep them happy before anyone else.

I will say though that listening to Michelle Obama speak and listening to Ted Kennedy speak and being right there with them for all of it was one of the most surreal experiences of my whole life. I've never been all about the politics, more all about the Hollywood, and so never thought of these as real people. But they are real and they're spectacular.

More soon.

Biannual PSA

Alrighty bitches, you know what day it is. It is voting day. If you haven't already done it (which I have, thankyou) go out and get your vote on. A wise woman once told me that you are statistically more likely to get laid if you vote. I don't know if this is actually true, but you're more likely to have a government that:

a) says you can love/marry anyone you like
b) gives you the right to do with your body what you think is right
c) won't make you go to war against your will

Think about it people, in the wise words of one Miss CJ Cregg, "decisions are made by those who show up. You gotta rock the vote." (okay, its possible someone else said this before her, but she's who I remember saying it). Its just that simple, if you don't vote, you can only blame yourself if something doesn't go the way you want it to in the federal, state or local government. And this being a mid-term election, most people don't think it is as important, but people it is just as, if not MORE, important to vote in this one because if you know anything about government, you know that technically the legislative branch (aka Congress) is the one with all the power. Tragically, in the past few years it has appeared that the executive branch has been the one making all the decisions, and really...its kinda true, so, fix it! Make the House and the Senate the ones with the speaking power so that in TWO years (not next year like some people coughcoughJohnGrandicoughcough think) we can fix the Presidency too.

Thus endth the lecture.

Go vote.

Do it.

Now.