Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Movie Review: Austenland

Sometimes I think the Internet is a place where we can share stories, not to bring us together in some dumb, kumbaya way but more in a "I'm going to do this, and tell you about it, so you don't have to do it yourself."

Guys. I saw Austenland for you last night. You're welcome. You can cross it off your list and get on with other things. 

Here's the thing: it wasn't terrible. It also wasn't good. It just was. It just kind of just sat there. With its boobs pushed all the way up to its chin. 

Another, perhaps more appropriate name for the movie would have been, Watch Jennifer Coolidge be herself for 97 Minutes or maybe Try to Figure out Where you Know that Guy From (Hint: It's Flight of the Concords).

There were very funny parts to this movie. Literally, every third time Jennifer Coolidge opened her mouth, I laughed. She is a funny person and this movie would have just sunk without her energy.

And that, my friends, is my problem with Keri Russell. She has no energy. She just was kind of on screen, saying lines, being pretty and everyone crossed their fingers that that would be enough. It totally was not, for me anyway. 

It was a cute movie with a dumb-but-fun premise - and with many another actress in that lead part, it would have been worth renting on RedBox (do people still do that?)

At the end, there was this funny-enough credits bit that, in theory, was hilarious, but in actuality, was Keri Russell looking very hard like she was trying to have fun and be relaxed. And that was kind of the whole movie. It's like she wasn't really in on the joke that this movie was dumb and everyone was just having a stupid fun time. 

That being said: Jennifer Coolidge killed it. The blonde girl doing Regency Prancercise killed it. Jane Seymour's taxidermined lamb was totally underutilized. 

It was worth the price of admission ($0). It totally belongs in the canon of movies you Netflix on Sunday morning because you are too hungover to get off the couch. 

Also, one million Internet points to someone who can get me one of those "I Love Mr. Darcy" bags that she carries.

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She's pint-sized and amazing.