I seriously thought I had another few years to mentally prepare myself for this moment, but I guess not. A text message I recieved yesterday while at lunch clinched the fact that we are officially growing up. Since Thanksging, two of my best friends have gotten engaged. Two. One of them was my best friend in middle school and high school. A whole bunch of people that I graduated with have gotten married/engaged/knocked up and I was able to blow it off because the people I went to high school with were crazy-weird. Kates may also be crazy weird, but we planned our weddings together walking to school in eighth grade, so this crazy hits pretty close to home. Also, it kinda came out of left field as the topic of discussion via my lunch text messaging yesterday mostly focused on the gross concoction I had whipped up from the hot buffet at the deli, why? because I'm still at the mental age of about twelve which means my friends getting married is starting to wig me out a smiggin'. I think its that all the hypothetical, "when I get married..." talk I've been doing since I was six is starting to become not so hypothetical; which means that other things (babies, 401(k) plans, morgages) are no longer hypothetical either. People, this sort of future that isn't really future anymore nonsense is totally freaking me out.
Luckily for all of you, there's an ice cube's chance in hell I'll get married before I turn fifty. But I wear a size 4, so try to pick the least unattractive bridesmaids dress you can. And if, by some lightning strike of randomness there is a boy that does want to marry me, and he asks you for ring advice-- silver, diamond solitaire, preferably Tiffany Setting (because it looks like a snowflake) and absolutly nothing from Kay Jewlers.
This has to be it for now, okay? No more engagements until 2006. And no pregnancies until my cousin poops out her little tyke in June. I mean it guys.