Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I'm gonna die.

So as I've discussed before. I am, on occasion, a raging hypochondriac. This is probably due to the fact that I've spent most of my life not getting sick. I get the occasional flu and I did have a fun week or two of chicken pox, but for the most part I was an increadibly healthy kid juxstaposed to my brother who was a regular at various ERs in the DC and outlying suburban areas due to raging asthma and allergy problems.

The fact that he got all the attention what with his habit of stopping breathing and everything as a child, paired with my obsession with medical dramas staring attractive emotionally broken doctors, I developed the habit of thinking that most things that seem to be wrong with me are probably life threatening. However, since I don't like doctors or copays I normally just suffer in silence, lying awake at night knowing that the leg cramp is obviously necretitis and my significant other is at some point or another going to put me in a coma then rip out half my thigh muscle.

Since I am not normally sick, I don't go to the doctor and I very rarely use prescription drugs. Enter my brand new prescription. I don't have a serious problem (its definatly not life threatening) however this medication has some crazy-serious side effects. My doctor has spent about 4 hours over the past month lecturing me about the fact that there is a very real possibility that if I do something wrong when on these meds I could very well die. Immediatly. Without warning.

Great.

So I started this morning. They said to take it with a meal which, I don't actually eat meals so-- already doing great. I swallowed the pill with a large glass of water and some oatmeal and waited. Then wondered what I was waiting for. Obviously, nothing was going to happen. I wasn't going to start hallucinating or anything (unfortunatly). After feeling slightly retarded for a few minutes I started waiting for all of the wonderful side effects of this drug.

Bad idea.

On the platform waiting for the subway, I was positive I was going to die due to my stomache and mild sweating. This is after one.dose. I had a stomache for most of the morning and in a wild panic I bought myself lunch (something I never do- I eat fruit and chex mix for lunch) and the stomache returned. At this point, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die while crossing Broadway infront of the Cosi.

Right now I'm nursing myself back to health with M&M's and Sprite. I feel okay. Although I have a strange feeling that a great deal of this blog will now be dedicated to my medical concerns.

Sorry.

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She's pint-sized and amazing.