Be Happy 2014: Binge and Purge

Summer makes me want to hug everyone.

I spent so much time outside in May. It was full of cartwheels and glorious.

In June I plan to keep enjoying sunshine as much as humanly possible. The trick to bonus outside time is eating dinner out there. And then just watching people go by and be grateful for these moments of warm weather.

June will also be a month of doing everything. All the yoga, all the meals, all the opportunities to stay out late and regret it the next morning, all the patios and getting tan.

June will also be a month of getting rid of stuff. We're purging closets and unpacked boxes and pieces of furniture we will never use again (adios papasan chair!).  Of course, this means new things will come into replace them eventually (bonjour new living room armchair!) but for now we are enjoying shedding things and fitting just perfectly into our home.

Happy summer!

Be Happy 2014. Failure to Unlaunch (and some sunshine)

It feels like the month of April took approximately 100 years. Perhaps because it is already Mid-May, despite the fact that I feel like it is still May 2nd.

April was my first collosal failure in the Be Happy challenge. I told myself I would unplug, disconnect, turn off and focus on what is in front of me. I lasted about 10 days before I found myself putting facebook back on my phone - simply because it is a habit. A bad habit I cannot break. On the bus, waiting for people in a bar, waiting for a meeting to start Facebook makes me feel like I am connected.  I know I am not, but it fills the waiting minutes better than most things.

And once I reinstalled it, it was only a matter of days before my phone was back out even after people had arrived in these places where I had made the excuse of, "I was waiting." I check it without thinking. I check it like I check the time, like I crack my nuckles or stand my with my leg in passe (true story, standing like this is the best and most comfortable for my hip alignment).

And I think perhaps, I could have forced myself to stay away, if it didn't seem like everyone else is always on their phones. We as a civilization (with some notable exceptions) are just on.our.phones. And it is so much harder to stop with the crystal meth when your friends are basically Badger and Skinny Pete.

That being said, its not an entire failure. I have seen this clip a couple times, but every time it resonates with me. I am so terrified of that empty sad inside part of me (I think because I am pretty in touch with it and hyper aware of its existance). But it has to, eventually be okay.

 

I know May is half over, so it seems silly to set a goal for this month, but it has worked out really well that this has been/will continue to be pretty amazing. So I am putting into place one of my goals for the whole summer.

It has been the winter of falling sadness for the past three million years (guys, I am not 100% sure if I know how years work) and now it is finally gorgeous outside almost all the time.

For example, it is 8:23 pm as I write this and I am on my porch. It is literally the perfect temperature outside. There was a threat of rain, but all its done is take the edge off the humitity from earlier and make it basically perfect evening weather.

After spending so many months depressed as all get out about the state of weather affairs in Chicago, I refuse to take this amazing business for granted. So there will be late night writing (and reading and talking) sessions on the porch, and walks through the neighborhood, and lunches in the park. May is the month of creating good outdoor summer habits to hold onto until September forces them away. 

Be Happy 2014. Ears Open. Eyes Up.

So last month was about making my body look good.  This month is about making my mind look good and fixing my jacked-up social skills.

I read this (fairly old) New York Times Op-Ed and it rings so true.

I have diagnosed myself with a terrible case of FOMO (Fear of Missing out, FYI) and Facebook only exacerbates it. Add that to my ADD and my general low self-esteem, I find myself constantly checking facebook to find out what else is happening. Just in case there is something else happening, and because I am not part of this one part of the conversation happening in front of me and because is there something I am going to be sad I am not involved in.

Enough, Grandipants. Get your shit together and enjoy the lovely people who are willing to hang out with you face-to-face. April is all about putting the phone away and enjoying the precious few moments I get to spend with real human people.

So. I deleted facebook from my phone, because it is like a bad crack habit. The goal is to keep the phone away.  We are starting here with this. I cannot wait to enjoy my friends and all the wonderful things they say in actual talking.

Be Happy 2014. Be fit and that girl

So I spent all of March working out like a little work horse who is entered into a contest to lose weight.

I have talked about how much I enjoyed Air Aerial Fitness, and Tuesday night really sealed the deal for me.  After taking about 20 classes in 30 days, I found myself one of the people following the "advanced modification" directions.  I caught new girls giving me the side-eye.

No one in the history of ever has given me a side-eye in an athletic capacity. I am always the girl looking at other girls with a mix of jealousy and grouchiness. But I caught that look pointed in my direction and I was full of glee. Hurrah for the smallest and shallowest of victories.

Then today was my weigh-in for the fitness competition at work.  And I am mad at myself for slipping and chowing down on spinach dip last weekend, but even with that - I lost 13 pounds and 7% of my body fat plus a solid 6 inches off my waist in two months.

As the trainer who took all my measurements said, "Ya crushed it."

I know that this is will take an insane amount of maintenance. There are still three weeks without carbs and I am trying to figure out a workout plan that is fun and engaging and will allow me to maintain this body that I am almost-satisfied with - but for tonight I celebrate with maybe doing some planks during the commercials. Orrr, just eat dinner (butternut squash soup and cauliflower salad) and rub my belly in satisfaction.

No Panem for me, thanks.

The month of Be Happy Go Upside-down conveniently ended up coinciding with Lent this year. So it's going to be a really good month for shedding extra winter blubber and a really bad month for me being a fun person to be around.

This year for Lent I decided to give up bread and sweets. At first it was just "refined sugar," but people started questioning my methods for determining what contains "refined sugar," and once someone suggested cutting wine out of my diet, it was clear I needed to be more specific. 

This might be the most insane challenging thing I have ever done. Bread is my comfort food. Sweets are my reward. And while I know this will never stick past the 40 days (I am not a cave lady) - it is a chance to really think about what I am putting in my body for the next 5 and a half weeks. 

I so often just eat and eat without considering if I needed that extra crab puff. And let's be real - yes, I always do need that extra crab poof, but I don't always need four cake pops, and a cupcake with the crab puff.

Of course, the real challenge is getting past the, "but I want it," hurdle. This morning there is a giant array of bagels in my work kitchen. All the bagels telling me that they are going to help me get through this morning. And they would and that might be the heart of the problem.

There are a lot of delicious things I will be enjoying this month: bacon, avocado, fruit (can't kick this 2-a-day clementine habit #sorrynotsorry), and wine and those, I hope, will be enough to get me through the rough spots.

Since my baby brother, Buttmunch has also decided to attempt this journey, I am going to be posting lots of recipes and cheat codes for eating less carbs.

Also, at some point we will discuss why I let this religious event that I don't actually believe in be in control of my decisions every spring. 

If you need me, I'll be eating lettuce and hummus with my motivational team.

Be Happy 2014. Ate well and now going upside down.

February was delicious. There is no such thing as too delicious, but I am deliriously stuffed.

These are just a taste of all the amazing things that I said yes to this month. The problem is, while I love the food, I do not love the way my jeans are fitting now.

So! This month is a little bit harder because it is not such an immediate happiness. This is about being happy for a few months, even if it means some bruised wrists and frustrated evenings in March.

This month is about exercise, but not running or even run of the mill yoga or Zumba. This month is going upside-down to get fit. I bought a Gilt city deal for Air Aerial Fitness. I took my first class today and it was not as fun and easy as I magically thought it was going to be but I feel like I worked hard and so I will go back tomorrow (and the next day, and the next, and the next until April 1). I have always loved going upside down and so I am hoping that the fun of that will keep me happy as I try to make my belly smaller.

Be Happy. part 1.

My actual "resolution" this year is to spend all the gift cards and gift certificates cluttering up our junk drawer. It took about four of them expiring for me to decide to do.something about it.

My Intention for 2014 is to be happy. It seems simple enough, but my default feeling is anxiety and frustration so it is less simple than it would be for normal people. Naturally, to be truly happy, I would have to come into some independent wealth, so I could just live on fanciful whims all goddamned day but with that not happening anytime soon - I am going to make a conscious effort to do and find things that make me truly, legitimately happy.

We're going to do one thing a month, because I gotta go slow with things that are unfamiliar and scary like happiness.

Month 1.

For the past seven years, my dad has very generously provided me with an annual subscription to The New Yorker to make sure I do not lose touch with my superior, erudite East Coast roots while surrounded by these midwestern yokels.

Without The New Yorker, I would know nothing about artificial food flavoring, the Miami Marlins, the favelas of Rio De Janeiro, and would not have read my three favorite articles of all time: Max at Sea, Trial by Fire, and the one that ALWAYS comes to mind when people ask what I've gained from getting the magazine for the better part of a decade: The Itch.

But reading the New Yorker leaves little time for reading anything else. My subscription stopped unexpectedly at the end of November and I found myself cruising through three books in four weeks. So when Dad offered it back up yesterday, I said no. Because I want to read books. The books above and the unseen ones floating around in tubes of my (still in its packaging because I am waiting for my cover and do not want to take any chances) Kindle.

Reading the New Yorker is wonderful but it also kind of feels like work. Its a weekly assignment I feel guilty about not finishing on time. Reading books just makes me happy.  Right now I'm knee-deep in And the Mountains Echoed and its amazing. I am deliriously satisfied to be reading something so good.

To books and happiness in 2014.